One of my friends posted an Ester Lederer (a.k.a Ann Landers) quote as her status not too long ago. It’s been surfacing in my mind on and off during my still time. Whenever something does this, I’m usually being ‘encouraged” to take closer look. Translation – God is shaking His head and saying “Stubborn child, you didn’t quite catch it the first (second, or third) time around – you’ve got some thinking to do!”
The quote: “Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.”
Bazinga! A little jolt to my psyche is making me look at myself as I considered the truth of the quote. I needed to be honest with myself and recognize where I am emotionally with my “renters”. I’ve been feeding them, providing heat and utilities, even fluffing pillows.
Time for an eviction notice! Nobody is going to live rent free in my head – being kept alive, allowed to stew and nurture the resentment, bitterness and anger – have that control. Guess it’s time to make peace. Hmm… MAKE peace. The verb here is make…that’s an action. Make, means to bring into existence by shaping or changing, to produce or cause to be. Dang it! - I have to DO something to make peace. It won’t magically happen if I just leave things be.
My ‘renters’ deal with relationships I have with a couple of people that have caused heartache. I still deal with these people in different life arenas on a pretty regular basis. Dealing with them causes anxiety, resentment, and hurt. I needed to make peace with the relationships I have with them. A question comes to mind - Why do I have to make the effort? I didn’t choose to be treated in such ways that are ignorant, at times spiteful, inconsiderate, rude, uncaring… A simple apology would be in order and would really help to mend fences but I know there will be no sincere repentance, no reparation – especially since there is no hint of recognition that they have caused hurt (so I may not be able to make peace with the individuals but I can make peace with the relationships). .
How can I evict them? The only way is through forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice.
Forgiveness in the case of these two will never come in response to apology, reparation, or contrition. I need to forgive not for their welfare, but for my own welfare – emotionally and spiritually.
It is only after the forgiveness that I will forge a new course, one that is without the “squatters’ of bitterness, anger, resentment or hatred in my head or heart.
Are you letting anyone live rent free? Find it overwhelming to face giving eviction notice on your own? Reach out to the people that love you for support; to people who’ve made it through; to the One who loves you and will enable you– Your Lord and Savior.
Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
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