Finding Joy in the midst of the unexpected...

The past several months, especially the past several weeks, have really resonated the fact that life is filled with the unexpected.  It is filled with transitions and trials – a turn in direction, being pulled out of my comfort zone, changes in relationships, a medical diagnosis for a loved one… loss.  Life is filled with circumstance that is constantly changing and often it is circumstance beyond control.

In the midst of all of this as I turned to the Word, I am told to “consider it pure joy” – whenever facing trials of many kinds.

Pure Joy?…. Joy is the emotion of great happiness, pleasure, glee, gladness, jubilance, … delight.

How does one reconcile this word and its meaning – with personal struggles and changing circumstance?
The answer comes in Romans 12– we are told to “be joyful in HOPE, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer”.
“Patient in affliction” --- not one of my strong suits.  Often though there is no other choice but to have patience.  It really boils down to waiting and trusting.  I turn to the Hope found in God’s word and look for His Promises.
Psalm 30 reminds me that “weeping may last the night but Joy comes in the morning - God will remove our sackcloth and clothe us with joy.” 
Psalm 94 states that when anxiety is great within us, His consolation brings joy.
John 16 tells me that we will grieve, but our grief will turn to joy.

 

Pure Joy… Complete Joy… will never be found on our own especially when we in our humanness try to base it on circumstance or look for it within ourselves.

Romans 15 reminds us, only the God of hope can fill us with all joy and peace as we trust in Him.
And when we find our joy in Him – We discover “the Joy of the Lord is our strength” and He gives us immeasurably more as Psalm 37 promises “Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

Living life under the conditional statement?

“When things slow down, I’ll feel better and relax.”

“When they apologize, it will make things easier.”
“If she just had answers, she could move on.”
“If the house would sell, we wouldn’t have to ….”
“I need to get past next month, then…”
“When I finish this…”
“If...”  “When…”

I’ve been part of several conversations as of late in which people are struggling in very heartfelt ways.  I’ve been holding a couple of these situations quite heavily in thought and prayer.  As I’ve stood still with them, several thoughts have struck me.

One of the realizations that hit me most came from my teacher perspective.  Each of those heartfelt statements was a conditional statement.  “If…, then..”   “When …, then….”
There was a prerequisite to each person having happiness … being content … experiencing peace … having hope.  Life for each had limitations, something restricting them from actually living – a contingent circumstance not allowing living, only allowing existing day to day or moment to moment.
With this thought came a strong realization of how much I actually live life under a conditional statement.
So many people are coping with serious burdens, I do realize … yet each of us struggles with troubles. 
Our Lord, Himself, told us “in this world you will have trouble”
(John 16:33) – not might have – will have.  But our hope comes in what he says next… “But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
All of those conditions – fear, anxiety, hurt, pain, meanness, struggle, trouble – exist. But we don’t need to conquer them to have peace or contentment or joy.  Christ overcame and conquered them for us.

In the midst of the storm, we can dance in the rain.  During those days filled with hurt, we can find pleasure in the moment and treasure it.

I think I’ll stand still with the thoughts and knowledge that I can and will live life unconditionally through God’s love.  I invite you to do the same!

John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
1 Peter 5:7   Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Psalm 55:22   Cast your burdens on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.
Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Hebrews 13:8  Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Day after day, after day, after...

Day to day routines. I caught myself again. I could brag that I’ve been multitasking but what is really happening is that I’ve gotten caught in that frenzied pace. Urgency, commotion, distractions and interruptions have grasped a hold. There comes a point when the realization hits that multitasking can become divided attention; distraction can really be procrastination; going with the flow may actually be diversion. I end up succumbing to allowing time to manage me instead of me actually managing my time.



Annie Dillard wrote, “How you spend your days is how you spend your life.”


Days slip by. Days add up. Days define our lives.
So here I stand…still.
I regain perspective. Once again, I realize the need for awareness … the need for consciousness.
When I develop awareness of where moments are being spent and consciously choose how to spend time, I can almost visualize my day falling into line. No more chasing circles. Instead of commotion there exists calm even in the unexpected. Instead of interruption there is continuation and completion. Instead of disorganization there is systematic order.
Days spent this way add up to the life I’d like to spend. This life can be spent with a little more enjoyment, contentment, and personal value. This is the day to day routine I want. The best way to ensure the life well spent all lies with how I focus. If I focus inward – I’ll end up with inattention, anxiety, unproductiveness…(this list goes on). If I focus on the disruptions I’ll end up with preoccupation, commotion, complication…(this list goes on). But if I focus upward, toward the Giver of days and His Will, I will have that life well spent.
I am thankful for the opportunity to live these days- day after day, after …..


Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Making a Living or Making a Life

We are all focused on making a living. Focused on finding a means to support ourselves and our families – a means to provide needs of shelter, food, and clothing. Some people strive when finding that means, and focus beyond - at attaining status and wealth as well.

Right now it seems that people have gone from finding a satisfying career to just finding a job… any job. So many people are struggling to make a living.


I saw a quote that’s got me thinking about making a living as I stand still. Tennis Grand Slam Champ and civil right activist Arthur Ashe said, “From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life.”
Several thoughts come to mind:
-Making a living is necessary but there is a difference when the focus is on making a life.
-It’s easy to become a slave to making a living; losing yourself in distractions, the “urgent” or false fulfillment.
-Making a life brings more satisfaction and contentment than making a living – there is purpose.
-The most giving people I’ve met are those who don’t have great wealth.
- In his book “The Prophet”, Kahlil Gibran writes, “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give…
These are the believers in life and the bounty of life,
and their coffer is never empty.
There are those who give with joy,
and their joy is their reward.”


As I stand still, questions come – Am I making a life? Time, talent, self, heart, faith – I see these as what I have to share. How else can I make a life? Am I modeling the difference between making a living and making a life to my children? Do I seek guidance often enough as I seek to make a life?


Once again, I need to stand still a bit longer…


Proverbs 11:24 One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.

change

I’ve been noticing bits of color appearing in the trees. Slight but beautiful touches of color as if the Creator gently stroked his paintbrush here and there. Change is on its way. Summer to Fall. I love being in a geographical place that experiences the change of season. Anticipating the changes and rhythms of seasons is enjoying …soothing …natural. Each season brings things to enjoy and look forward to.



Entering the season of Fall we are brought to change visually through the beauty of color. Fall stimulates our sense of touch as we harvest or experience cooler temperatures. We hear the sound of geese as they fly past migrating for the winter and the chatter of squirrels as they gather for what is to come. There’s a certain smell Fall brings with leaves (in the Midwest there was always the smell of burning leaves) and fires beginning to burn as smoke rises in chimneys. What about the tastes of fall – squash, pumpkin pies and breads and….


There is a focus on harvest, gathering, reaping what was sown. With that come taking stock and a sense of abundance.


Yep season brings change. A daughter goes off to college reaping the harvest of all her diligent work. She’ll be gathering new friends. There’s a migration of young adults that settle in. Two young men (kid2 and kid3) stay but head out into the school fields to begin gathering learning also.


With this “season” of time in my life a friend queried of me about my heart’s experience. I’m changing ‘seasons’ going from mommy to mom; going from nurturer to guide; going from the provider/boss to mentor/friend. I am looking at the beginning of the harvest that comes from planting seeds of faith, respect, honor, compassion, empathy, hard work, consideration, love. We are reaping young adults who are firm in faith, responsible, gifted in their own way… We are taking stock and finding an abundance beyond measure. For our work was guided, nurtured and truly blessed by the Father.


Change may bring bittersweet and bring apprehension – but I do see and feel the joy of this season which multiplies as I see that joy felt by my children during their season of life.


What is your ‘season’ yielding?


There are sighs coming from this ‘farmer’ but the season is natural…soothing in a way…and full of enjoyment.


God is good. He knows we need seasons…He knows I need this season.




"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."


Ecclesiastes 3:1

ROOTS TO GROW WINGS TO FLY

It is said that we give our children “Roots to grow and wings to fly”. I have been pondering this saying quite a bit at this point in life.
When the kids were younger many people would observe the chaos, smile and say “enjoy this time…they grow up so fast”. I heard those people while thinking “I just want sleep”. Now at the point of having my first prepare to go off to college, my middle child taller than I and the youngest of the three is moving on to Jr. High, I can’t believe the lightning speed at which it did pass. I’ve come to several personal conclusions:


(1) parenting doesn’t get easier – challenges become different (and a little more complicated). A comfort here lies in the fact that we accomplish this task as a team, my husband and I. My greatest comfort lies in the fact that we aren’t doing it by ourselves – we have guidance from our Heavenly Father and it is through His timeless Word and our direct line through prayer that we navigate parenthood.


(2) I still want that elusive perfect night’s sleep


And….


(3) “Roots to grow wings to fly” is a parenting mantra I possess and use as I parent.


“Roots to grow”: Roots anchor, store and absorb. We’ve done our best to give each of the three kids strong roots. Roots of family values, love, good morals and ethics that will allow them to be anchored well as they experience life with all it throws their ways. The most valuable and strongest root they can, do and will have throughout their lives is faith and knowing they are each a beloved child of God.


Ephesians 3:17-19  "so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Can I begin to imagine the width, depth and length? Can I comprehend being filled to the measure of all the fullness of God? - WOW moment)


“Wings to fly”: The ultimate goal in parenting is to have children that will grow, well rooted, and will leave the nest soaring on to their own successes. But it is not easy to watch them learn to fly. Sometimes they struggle, need navigation, fly into a few walls…


As the parent I can offer pointers, give coordinates or shout “look out!” offering warning and caution. But ultimately I have to hold my breath, sometimes close my eyes, always say a prayer – and just let go and let God. In my broken human condition this is (more often than) harder than it should be.


Time for me to ponder my own roots and rely on God, my anchor. He whispers the words of Isaiah 40:31 “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”


I sigh. In this ‘flight’ of parenting, I have my own soaring to do and when I feel weary or faint I know where to turn for renewal.


I also can rest assured that thanks to the One my children are rooted in – they will soar and be renewed as well.


It’s in His very capable loving hands. THEY are in His very capable loving hands. WHEW!




- Thank you R who reminded me to “Enjoy watching her soar -- remember, she always knows her nest is there to come home to.”

Tie a knot

A little while ago, I logged on fb and looked at posts. I noticed the comment of a friend who wrote, “My fingers are raw and I’m slipping…”. This was a friend that I had been keeping in prayer for I knew that she has had one ‘life event’ after another over the past several months. Her post triggered a round of prayer.



I’ve been there at the end of the rope. You look down and feel as if you don’t hold on to the end as tight as you can, you are going straight into that dark abyss. When things are really bad you can already feel the emptiness as a dark shadow is over taking you. You aren’t just going to fall downward – the abyss is sucking you in. That’s when you are truly at the end of the rope.


I remember being on the edge of despair at rope’s end once and reading something that changed my perspective. Leo Buscaglia wrote, “When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot, hang on, and swing!” I thought – well tying a knot would make it easier to hold on. Swing?....hmm…


So I did. I went out to the back yard on my kids’ play structure and swung. Remember that feeling you got when you were a kid on the swing? First, there’s comfort in the motion – like being rocked. Also there is kind of a feeling of being above it all. Almost like flying and leaving it all behind. Carefree. Remember trying to go higher and make your toes touch the sky?


I got off of the swing and realized I felt a little better.


When I get to the end of the rope, I tie a knot. Swing a bit. I will leave those troubles in God’s capable hands. When I’m done with my carefree swinging I can let go and land on the solid foundation of God’s love and grace. As another friend commented to the original post “there just isn’t anything else as stable and sure as God’s grace”.


To anyone at the end of your rope – my advice is TIE A KNOT..and SWING

Finding North

One of my favorite spots for “standing still” is a yard swing that sits under a wisteria arbor on my back patio. I sit listening to robins and scrub jays. There are flower beds that edge the patio and I watch hummingbirds coming and going to and from the feeder. One morning there were comings and goings of a different nature. ‘Warriors’ ducking behind the wisteria, combat crawling behind the arborvitaes. ‘Soldiers’ ran from the side of the house up into the play structure platform. I had found myself the observer of a nerf battle. I listened as the ‘soldiers’ yelled to defend the fort. “Prepare! Prepare! They’re going to be incoming! Cover the north!” “I got it! I got it! Uhh…-Hey, which way is north?” “Cardinal north is that direction – and that’s south, east and west.”



A few minutes later someone yelled to retreat and the battle moved to a neighboring location.


I smiled as I replayed the scene that had been in front of me then found myself audibly chuckling as I remembered “I got it! I got it! Uhh-Hey, which way is north?”


I can relate to that ‘soldier’ somewhat. In life, we find ourselves in the midst of skirmishes quite a bit. It’s easy for me to think I’ve got it covered – I’m in control even after taking a hit or two and still ready for the incoming. I think I’m in the right place doing okay; and my communications with the Commander (in heaven) seem clear. Then I find myself shouting “I got it! I got it! …….Uhh-Hey, which way is north?”


In this battle of life we all need to have that direction of North set. When you know where North is you can discern all other points of direction and find your destination so much more clearly.


Now the important question is – What do you use to set North? Unfortunately there is no convenient life GPS or compass every one is automatically handed as they enter life’s battlefield. Some people go with their own reason or intellect, maybe their gut or a feeling---not a true North due to the constant shifting of the human perspective, limited viewpoint, innate defensive reactions and limited ability. Some set North by others –not a true North because they are as human and fallible as you. Some set North to possessions or attainment of status or dollars—not a true North because it taints your perspective not to mention your spirit, it is all fleeting and can be gone in a second, and people around you don’t actually value or respect You the individual- it’s more about what is in it for them in the end.


True North can only come from one place…. Above. One who knows all; Who is, was and always will be; Who wants us to reach our final destination and experience true joy; Whose very nature and essence of being is Love.


“….UHHH – Hey, which way is north?”…..focus beyond, focus above, then set your compass.


Prov. 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Planning the experience or experiencing the planning?

Planning. Sometimes as a mom, I’m exhausted with this task. I plan for the entire family. I’m often at the mercy of the individual family members’ plans and have to coordinate five different plans into one master family plan. Then I make the master family plan fit into the plans of employers, schools, organizations, and more.



Moms aren’t alone. We ALL need this skill to cope successfully in life. Students plan schedules and time to get assignments done. At work people set goals and make plans to achieve them on schedule. Coaches put together practice and game plans to achieve that winning record. There are fitness plans, diet plans, health plans, insurance plans, payment plans, birthday plans, wedding plans…


A good portion of the human experience requires planning. So here’s a question that occurs to me as I am standing still. Am I always planning the experience and do I ever allow myself to experience the planning? (guess there are two questions to ponder)


Sort this out a bit girl.


Planning the experience – The main focus is on the end goal, the experience. The steps and details that must be taken and finished are items on a checklist. Sometimes these checklist items become frustrating stressors. In the back of my mind I hear a chant “got to get it done; got to get it done; got to get it done”. I find myself thinking “when I finally get to the experience…I’ll relax - I can enjoy it – I will….” Then the experience comes………(while its happening you still are focused on the detailing and not enjoying the experience)…………..and goes.


Experience the planning –The goal is in the horizon but the focus is on the present detail that is being finished. The completion of a detail is an accomplishment in itself. When the experience happens you enjoy seeing and reaping the reward of the specific accomplishment of a specific detail.


Planning is part of the experience. If I don’t “experience the planning” I lose something.


Stand still: Do YOU find yourself always planning the experience? Do you ever allow yourself to experience the planning?


Yep, our lives require planning. And we all know that “the best laid plans ….often go awry”. But, I am able to have complete confidence and peace that there are plans I can trust my days, my life and my very soul with. God’s Word says “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)


Thank you Lord.

One Page at a Time

Reading is something I really enjoy doing. It’s free. It can provide learning, expand knowledge, entertain, relax, provide escape, provides glimpses of other places and cultures, and so much more. I love those books that cause you to lose track of time; a story that draws you in so far you can’t put it down; a book in which the story stays with you and causes you to ponder some aspect of your own life. When you read you turn one page at a time and take the story in.

One page at a time.
Skipping a page may mean losing part of the story; losing an important detail; missing an important insight; missing a turning point or losing an opportunity to find a precious gem in the form of a thought.
Author Richard Paul Evans offered such a gem in the pages of one of his novels – “It is fortunate that we are allowed to turn just one page of our lives at a time.”
One page at a time.
I am so guilty of skipping pages in life.
Although it is Tuesday, I have turned to Friday’s page in which I have to get kid2 to the podiatrist, pick up kid1 on the way home, then kid1 takes kid2 to social gathering and proceeds to a meeting, meanwhile kid3 and I need to be home to greet a guest, kid1 needs to pick up kid2 and both go to youth event, I need to make phone calls to coordinate a weekend event for an organization then make sure guest has arrangements to get home – oh, that doesn’t include the regular home schedule of laundry, food, …….
Although it’s August, I have turned ahead to September when kid1 leaves for her first year of college and is facing saying goodbye to a few significant people in our lives. Kid2 needs to have his class schedule changed and has a new guidance counselor we’ve never worked with. Kid3 starts junior high and anxieties are coming out in him, friends and mom….
Although it is 2010, I have turned many pages ahead and cringe at the thought of having costs of more than one child in higher education, meeting the normal cost of living and wondering about those golden years after the collapse of social security under the demographic weight of the generation right before ours…. Or where will the kids be – who will they be with – will they find their way to survival and contentment….
One page at a time!
I want to savor the pages of life the way I savor those pages as I read…yep… one page at a time. Today I will be serenaded by the laughter of my kids. I will enjoy the smile and friendship of a neighbor’s greeting. I will notice the splash of color in my planters. I will be thankful for my washing machine. I will revel in the dinner table chatter. I will savor the smells as I make and bottle the home made blackberry syrup. I will enjoy the feel of the cool breeze as I sit under the wisteria arbor swinging on the porch swing reading a book one page at a time.