Broken

6:12 a.m.

The first text I sent for the day...

"We are going to have to get the side view mirror on the passenger side of the van fixed. Don't ask. This day is starting out quite well..."

The reply came...

"Love you"

I looked at the picture I had sent with the text and one word came to mind..

Broken.

Sighing, I looked at the picture one more time. Yep-broken...fragmented; hurt; in pieces; cracked; smashed; damaged; defective; not functioning properly; out of working order.

I think I might've actually chuckled to myself as I thought how accurately that description applied to me currently.  This year has been filled with a few too many challenges - especially these last few months.  I'm somewhat exhausted physically, intellectually and emotionally.  And spiritually?!... Well,  It is time to stand still.

 As I've hit the pause button on life, it has occurred to me that I have actually been the cause of a great deal of the exhaustion and brokenness with which I am struggling. While I have no control over many of the events experienced this year  (medical diagnoses, loss, choices life gave, actions of others, and more) I did have control (should've taken control) of my responses to them. 

My responses?  Let's see...

Allowed fear to dwell in my mind; embraced doubt in myself, others and the Father; stubbornly pushed on when I should've paused; thought I had strength in self-reliance (some of that really boils down to pride); got stuck in hurt; dwelt daily in the tyranny of the urgent; practiced avoidance -

No wonder I'm exhausted... overwhelmed...broken...

Being honest with myself, all of this has limited my effectiveness - limited the use of my time and gifts; contributed to unwellness; overshadowed the blessings given daily; burdened or hurt others; and created an unhealthy spiritual distance between me and The Lover of my Soul.

I could've chosen instead to respond in trust; sought help when needed; listened; yielded; or had confidence in knowing that even though I didn't know what the future held- I knew WHO held the future.

I looked at the response to the text I sent...

 

"Love You"

 

The exact words, now that I'm listening, which are being whispered to my soul... constantly.

My prayer for you is that no matter your brokenness, may you hear HIS words and know them; may those words bring you restoration; and may you know they are unconditional...

"Love You"

And now I'm going to get a broken mirror fixed and give a broken soul a rest:)

Psalm 34:18 - The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 147:3 - He heals the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all you heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

Matthew 5:2-12 - Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

1 Peter 5:7 -  Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

Romans 8: 38-39 - Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the LOVE of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.