Problems and solutions

I’ve had a few conversations with people as of late who find themselves in “situations”. One friend is frustrated with attitudes of self-centeredness and combativeness on a child’s sport team. Another is struggling with a familial relationship. Then there was the friend who had gotten an accusatory email questioning motives in handling something.

Conflict. It is unavoidable as we go through life. I’ve stood still with this word before. I’ve learned that conflict isn’t necessarily always a negative thing. Even more recently I learned something about conflict from writer Miriam Fox Gabler. She wisely stated…


“If you look at a problem long enough, you can see the part you play in it.”


My first reaction to this was “nah huh – I’m not so sure.” But as I’ve been standing still with Miriam’s statement and spending time in God’s Word, I’ve begun to see the blaring truth of this statement. Personally, I realize that I have not always been the shining example of grace under fire in those times I find myself in a “situation”. At certain points, I have been guilty of defensiveness, dislike, anger, selfishness, resentment, speaking out of turn, avoidance and admittedly even apathy. I know that there are times when a person can be a victim, a bystander, mistakenly unaware or sincerely wrong when “situations” arise. However, if one doesn’t take pause and care in response and reaction, one can add to things and definitely create ownership somewhere in the problem as a whole.
Solution? I’m continuing to learn and trying to practice looking ‘at the problem long enough’. Pause; breathe; stand still – in prayer – then move forward towards peace. Listen; clarify; speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15); communicate and find the solution. Resolve.


Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.


Matthew 7:3-4 Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?