October 12, 2010

when friendship brings grief

Sometimes during my hours as the “mommy-cab driver”, I listen to talk radio. Today I heard a caller expressing grief upon the discovery that the person they thought of as a friend didn’t value the relationship as a friendship. Been there…


I’ve invested in someone, given of myself, given my time, given support and then was puzzled and hurt when efforts didn’t have a return. Learned a few things along the way though:
-Even in the deepest of hurts, it’s good to know where you stand.
-Friendships themselves go through seasons. And sometimes a friendship simply runs its course. Any relationship is made up of two people who are growing – sometimes you grow at different rates – sometimes growth happens in different directions causing some to become different people (can you build on that, sharing and become stronger or are those differences unhealthy, detrimental and divisive?).
-People come into our lives for different reasons and different lengths of time. There’s a great poem about this called “reason, season, lifetime”. (http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/reason-season-lifetime ).
-You never know from the outside what people are coping with – there are often underlying personal factors and is not a judgment on you.
-People are human.
-It’s okay to have friends at different levels of relation and enjoy it for what it is and who they are.


There is one relationship that will never fail. And that is my friendship with Christ. One that bears grief and pain, shares joys and sorrows, knows your weaknesses and yet loves – a refuge, a solace. It brings to mind a hymn from my childhood. “What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear. … Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share? ... Jesus knows our every weakness. … In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.”


I wish this friendship for all you friends!

1 comment:

  1. Oh, this speaks to me! I lost a beloved friendship a few years ago and it broke my heart. It took me a long time to realize the only true friend is Him, and all others are as faulty as I am. We've never truly reconciled, but I believe that was in His plan. While I am still heartbroken over losing my friend, I know I will never lose my Friend. Thank you for such a thoughtful reminder!

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