'hope and a plan'...

 

Today I heard the phrase “hope and a plan” during a conversation with one dear to me.  My heart and spirit were overwhelmed with a tidal wave of emotion and thought.  There have been times I stood in the darkness of a period of life… overwhelmed with helplessness, desperate, lost, exhausted, drowning…

When one is here, you just want an end, an answer, some sort of plan to grasp onto in which there may bring relief… hope… healing. 

“hope and a plan” – as remembrance of my own journeys came, I felt for the one dear – understanding of the places in which they had stood – understanding the momentary relief and understanding the hope that the relief will stay and all will be well.

“hope and a plan” – it brought to mind a verse that is often given in times to provide comfort and assurance…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

I have clung to this verse in seasons.  And as I have… my understanding of this verse has deepened leading to an even greater comfort and assurance.

My hope in each moment of a dark season had been different… I hoped/wanted my child to live.  I hoped/wanted healing for another of my children.  I hoped/ wanted a loved one to find light in life out of the shadows of depression – for myself as well to escape the dark times and to live without the fear and desperation that accompanies anxiety disorder. I sought the comfort of this verse and looked for “hope and a future” where prosperity of relief would come.

And as I held and meditated on those words I was compelled to consider their depth and context.

• “declares the LORD’ – The Father Himself; YahWeh, the one who IS, WAS and ALWAYS WILL BE, the Great I AM; says/speaks these words.  The one who spoke all into being speaks Hope and a future for me personally – “you” – me singular.
• “plans to prosper you and not harm you”- The Hebrew word for ‘prosper here is ‘shalom’ meaning completeness, welfare and peace.  And the Hebrew use here for ‘not harm you’ means ‘not of evil’.
•  “plans to give you hope and a future” - The Hebrew for ‘plan’ is  ‘machashabah’  - designs, thoughts, intentions, purposes.  The Hebrew word for ‘give’ is ‘nathan’ meaning to put, set, establish, commit.   The Hebrew word for ‘future’ is ‘acharith’ meaning the after-part, end.  The Hebrew word for ‘hope’ comes from the root ‘qavah’ meaning ‘expectation’.   

All together this means that the Great ‘I AM’ has established and committed intentions for me personally that will that will bring me no evil but will provide welfare and peace that I can expect and there will be an end to this season.

 

But the final and completeness of the blessing in all of Jeremiah 29:11 is really found in the verses that follow:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).  “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.” (Jeremiah 29:12-14a)

The completeness of the blessing is more than ‘hope and a plan’.  Yes ‘I AM’ declares and speaks His intention for Peace, and expectant Hope, of an end to the season for me personally.  But even greater, He declares that He will listen to me, He will be found and very much present in the season and will bring me out of the captivity of it. 

I note that even though His plans may have been different than what I wanted – through out the season and in the outcome, I am now able to see within the perspective of time passing – I was given His presence and peace… and blessings I would have never experienced otherwise.  Darkness did not and will not overshadow my being.  I have and will live in the prosperity of Peace and expectant Hope that He declares for me personally.  Even more so I have the blessed assurance, Peace and Hope the Father provides through His mercy and grace in the gift of Christ’s redeeming Love.

 

My prayer for you is that in the midst you will find ‘hope and a plan’ – HIS for you personally; to grasp on to the entirety of HIS declaration and promise for you… He is present and listening; He declares for you -now and for eternity – a prosperity of Peace, expectant Hope and His loving presence.

 

KNOWING

It seems that over the past few years, over and over the phrase “unprecedented times’ has been used.  Collectively, we have been through the chaos of pandemic, isolation, division, economic strife, hysteria, and social unrest.  Yet each of us have had a profoundly unique experience.

I have struggled at times - moment by moment; hour by hour; day by day - with living amidst the unexpected and the uncertainties. As the calendar flips to a new year, there is reflection on the past year.  However, I find my mind is barraged with a convoluted mess of words that flood through my thoughts.  I realize that for me, the reflection is not that of a sole year experienced.  The last three years or so seem to be inseparable in experience… impact… growth.  I was both witness to and experienced more that I was able to process in the midst of all of it - Fear, Anxiety, Illness, Isolation, Suffering, Loneliness, Sadness, Mourning, Emptiness, Loss, Death, Darkness, Fatigue, Exhaustion, Brokenness, Sorrow, Unrest, Negativity, Defeat, Struggle, Numbness, Pause, View, Realization, Weeping, Release, Feeling, Rest, Restoration, Seeking, Reset, Mindfulness, Intentionality, Overwhelm, Floodgate, Breathing, Trusting, Beginning, Abiding…

Again, all of it a collective experience – yet so very uniquely, impactfully lived and felt by every single person.

 

Every year I choose a word to define the year to come for myself.  I try to use it to identify a focus; a lens for which to view the coming experiences of the new year; to mindfully and intentionally live in the light of the word.  During ‘these unprecedented times,’ each new year I wanted to have that chosen word be “JOY”.  This is the fourth year I have whispered the word ‘JOY’ to the new year. Yet each new year had instead given me a different word to live with.  Providence granted me the word I needed.

 

BREATHE – inhale, exhale -inhale, exhale.  That year there were many moments I felt that struggle to breathe emotionally, mentally… spiritually.  Anxiety, fear, isolation, uncertainty all seemed to smother my being.  That year I feared for loved one’s health – began to ‘isolate’ which slowly caused disconnect in so many aspects of life.  But at the same time as a medical professional, I was thrown into the middle of all the pandemic brought – illness, end of life, struggle to maintain health and life of others (and myself), quarantine brought so much pain and sadness, separation and loneliness for people and families at times that were supposed to be experienced with the presence of loved ones. I wanted that year to intentionally place JOY as my word but I was told by the Father to BREATHE.  …Inhale, exhale… pause for breath… rest.  This word was a reminder – when the feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, sadness, loneliness darkened me I had to BREATHE – inhale, exhale; pause, rest.

“And He said to them, ‘Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” – Mark 6:31

 

TRUST – reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety of The Father; Confident expectation.  That next year so many of the same struggles continued to overwhelm.  Uncertainty during pandemic began to cause isolation, division, and unrest that deepened all the while policies that were supposed to help and protect added and continued pain, sadness, frustration, fatigue…   I knew at this point I could breathe.  I found ways to pause and rest.  This gave the ability to function.  But with no end to chaos in sight, to intentionally BREATHE didn’t always feel a strategy that was sustainable for a continuous, indefinite, unforeseen, uncertain length of time. As much as I wanted and intended to cling to the word JOY – that year the Father spoke the word TRUST.   Walk each step each day in faith.  The Spirit encourage my days whispering ‘TRUST”… BREATHE and TRUST.

“Trust in the LORD with all  your heart, and lean not on your own understanding…In all your ways (as you do your job, as you hold the hand, as you comfort others, as you see and experience loss, as you dig through your own numbness and doubts to be the one to hold up or encourage another, as you fight to feel, as you doubt, as you cry out, as you find glimmers and embrace fleeting ‘normalness’) – In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your path.”  - Proverbs 3:5-6

 

ABIDE – remain; continue; stay; dwell; reside.  The next year again, I hesitantly said … JOY?  And the word ABIDE was placed in my heart.  Some lived this year feeling able to get out of the shadow of pandemic – Some of us existed very much within the confines of the territory of the pandemic.  By now isolation had birthed and nurtured divisiveness, negativity that had gone unchecked, intolerance, debt, anger, depression and numbers individuals suffering with mental health issues that have never been seen before… and effects we still have not grasped as societies and as individuals.  But as I took those pauses to BREATH and over and over repetitively placed TRUST - I was reminded throughout the year to ABIDE.  Circumstance, experiences, feelings continued.  I had no bit of control or couldn’t change or manage any of the chaos but I could BREATHE… TRUST (albeit hesitantly) … and ABIDE.   ABIDE in the presence of the one WHO IS, WAS and ALWAYS will be.  ABIDE in the ONE who is LOVE. 

“I have come as a LIGHT into the world, that whoever believes in Me will not abide in darkness.” (john 12:46).

“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; ABIDE in my love.” (John 15:9)

 

And now as I sit with the beginning of this new year, I didn’t try to choose my word.  I was intentionally still and waited for the word to be given.

“Be still and know that I am GOD.” (Psalm 46:1)

KNOW.   To perceive or understand as fact or truth; to apprehend clearly with certainty. To be cognizant or aware of. 

“Be still and KNOW…” 

The past three years – in all my experiences, in all my growth, through the emotion and feelings… I could declare “I KNOW.”   And KNOWING anchors me.  KNOWING allows me to live above and beyond any uncertainty and unknown.  I KNOW peace, hope, love and joy… that feeling I’ve chased through the turmoil of all.  For this year, I will live KNOWING.  KNOWING I am His beloved child.  KNOWING I am secure.  KNOWING that through His grace and mercy I will one day rest where there is no more sorrow, no more pain. KNOWING I am never alone.  KNOWING…

 

My prayer for you is to rest, live, love, have joy, have peace, have hope no matter what this new year holds. My prayer for you is KNOWING – you are His beloved child.  May you carry this word through the new year with your own personal word that you are given.

 

“And those who know Your name will put their trust in YOU; for YOU, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.” (Psalm 9:10)

“Cause me to hear Your loving kindness in the morning, for in You I do trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk” (Psalm 143:8)

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  And seek my and call upon me and I will hear you.” (Jeremiah 29:11-12)

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in HIM. So that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

 

 

 

 

Losing faith...

 

Losing faith…

I have heard this phrase spoken in a few different contexts as of late and it made me think a bit – actually a bit more than a bit.

I’ve noted as I commute to work and run necessary errands that there are more and more individuals and even families on corners holding signs in desperation – “looking for human kindness”, “Any bit helps”, “Lost everything please help”, “silence is compliance”, “I used to be someone”, “Blah, blah, blah… is anyone reading, does anyone care”.  Homelessness is seen on city streets everywhere. 

We are years into a world pandemic in which viral infection spreads causing more than illness – separation, isolation, fear, anxiety, death, mourning, loss.

We live in an ever increasing culture of contempt - divisive politicians, policies, platforms, theories, media with hate, anger, and confusion.

We function in the environments of intellectual intolerance –slanted perspectives or bias in which some seek to silence others, to shout down the other, listening only with intent to reply unable to use critical thinking or openly allow discussion of elemental concepts and truths.

We are daily exposed to violence – open vandalism, destruction, defacement, assault, murder, and war.

One scientific journal has called attention to society’s growing empathy deficit.  People are losing faith… in government, in each other, in simple humanity.

Losing faith… to become disillusioned, embittered or doubtful; to give up; to lose hope; to stop believing.

If I was to truly be honest, I’d have to admit to noticing that perhaps I’ve been losing faith.  Symptoms may be evident in the form of frustration, the ever-growing noise of my thoughts, cynicism, disconnect, and growing isolation. 

Once again, I must stand still.

There’s a quote that has been brought to my attention …

“If you look at the world you’ll be distressed.  If you look within, you’ll be depressed.  But if you look at Christ, you’ll be at rest”. – Corrie ten Boom

If there was any one person in a moment of time caught in the chaos of violence, hatred, anger, confusion, isolation, fear, death, loss – someone who had every reason to find herself losing faith – it may have been Corrie ten Boom.

And yet she rested in Faith… complete trust and confidence, reliance, dependence, optimism, hope and conviction. 

Perhaps through adjusting where I am looking when the world overwhelms – I can experience less of ‘losing faith’ and more of “keep the faith’. 

Keep the Faith – remain optimistic especially in the face of adversity or challenge.

Keep the faith!  - an exclamation/statement of encouragement or solidarity. 

Keep the faith – to carry on, continue the good work.

Is it just that easy…? ‘Keep the faith’?

We are told that “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1) and “we should walk by faith, not be sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7).  Somehow for me at times it isn’t that easy to just willingly to give up any semblance of control in life that I think I may have.  I’m especially encouraged at this point in recalling "If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you" (Matthew 17:20).  When I feel as if I'm 'losing faith', knowing even the smallest bit I have in keeping is an unmeasurable source of strength and power.

It provides comfort; overcomes stress and anxiety; provides strength; leads to a more fulfilled life and gives purpose.  A Faith witnessed can encourage others and begin a new cycle of the prior list of benefits for others. 

As I ‘keep the faith’ and look beyond circumstance I am reminded that the greatest gift faith brings is salvation – an eternal perspective.  ”But we are not like those who turn their backs on God and seal their fate. We have faith that assures our salvation” (Hebrews 10:39).  For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God (Ephesians 2:8). 

So friend, does this world get you feeling like you're 'losing faith'?  Where are you looking?  You can leave the shadow of 'distressed, depressed' and be "at rest" even if you 'have a little faith'.  I pray that you 'Keep the Faith'.  And "May the God of HOPE fill you with ALL JOY and PEACE as you TRUST in Him, so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit"(Romans 15:13).

Forsaken

 

Forsaken.  Not a word one often uses.  But a word perhaps felt more often than some may want to say.

… he stood out side his wife’s window every day – rain, snow, cold. The pandemic rules would not allow him to be by her side as she lay in bed struggling to breathe.  Weeks went by for her all the while unable to sense his presence, feel his hand on hers, hear his voice; isolated from all that was familiar.

… they were supposed to be healers providing care enabling patients to return home to loved ones.  Instead, they were helpless as hundreds entered the doors.  They looked into the eyes filled with fear and desperation, often holding a phone for one to hear loved one’s voice as intubation occurred. Often standing quietly holding a hand as last breaths were taken so one would not die alone.  And as the virus spread sometimes it was the hand of a fellow worker they held.

…they went to work daily to provide care for those who survived, for those who were older and unable to care for themselves.  Day after day not only experiencing the fatigue the job routinely may bring but now daily witnesses to isolation that drained life, having to cover extra shifts, travel to aid other facilities, exposed to the unknown possibly to be the conduit by which their own homes or loved ones would fall prey to.

… families unable to gather to support one another in loss or honor the one who was no more.

…. Owners of a family business rooted in a community for decades watched helplessly as masked individuals broke windows, lit fires, looted and spraypainted the shell that remained – a life of building, supporting community, a livelihood wiped out by hypocrites in the name of justice.

… he took a breath through the bandana around his face.  Heat and smoke gripped his throat.  90% of all structures in town no longer stood including his home which was lost as he fought to save the homes of others.  Thousands of acres burned.  Ash fell hundreds of miles north and the sky was a sickening brownish orange.

…families quarantined, jobs paused or no longer held, struggling - realizing the rent, utilities, groceries, aren’t balancing.

… a society now filled with a culture of contempt nurturing division, unrest and hatred.

 …she spent days in a basement bunker hiding with her two children before she fled.  “I was ready to die”.  First the airplanes and bombs came every few hours, then every 30 minutes, then every fifteen.  There was the constant smell of gunpowder and images of bodies on the street with nowhere to go.

 

We are living in an uncertain time of upheaval.  We each have uniquely experienced this point history in ways that have overwhelmed.  Fear, unrest, anxiety, isolation, discord, depression, loneliness, doubt, exhaustion, sadness, discouragement, distancing, division, burnout, loneliness, disconnect…   There is no fathomable or measurable way to complete the list. 

Forsaken – abandoned. To have been left, deserted, surrendered, set aside, cast off.

Perhaps this word “forsaken” describes best what is being felt…by the patient; the victim abused or discriminated; the medical worker; the citizen whose political class has forgotten; the widow or widower; the orphan; the refugee; the homeless; the elderly; the single parent; the firefighter; the police officer; the teacher; the child; the neighbor…you….me.

It’s taken awhile to acknowledge that the continued onslaught of events over the past few years has eroded wellbeing… mine, yours, ours.  Sometimes people experience a huge massive loss or life altering event that is a tsunami crashing through life with obvious devastation in its wake.  But we have had an unrelenting, uncontrollable, unforgiving storm pattern that continues to bring floods leaving us constantly wading through mud and trying to keep our heads above water.  Some times we don’t realize the cumulative effect as we ignore various parts of the storm or convince ourselves we are far removed from certain parts of the storm until the water comes rushing through the middle of our lives.  The thing that is unique about this set of storms is that the first round forced us to abandon (forsake) a good portion of our lifeboat communities.  For some that length of time has caused disconnect – some have moved along with smaller more immediate supports unwittingly forsaking others; some no longer are capable of reaching out or flagging down the nearest lifeboat holding on to whatever lifesaver they can now on their own and some still struggle immensely to gasp their next breath of air with the continued onslaught and wave of events.  Maybe each of us at varied times can relate a bit too closely to each of the fore mentioned situations. 

What is needed to continue our journey now  - in spite of continued showers – is to acknowledge this word – “forsaken”.  Identify how we’ve been affected and allow ourselves to openly feel what it may bring.  Then move forward with intent.

Move forward purposefully seeking our lifeboats.  Move forward purposefully noticing those around us that may need the refuge of our lifeboat and make room – reach out so as not to unwittingly forsake another.  Move forward intentionally rebuilding the lifeboat community.  Move forward knowing you it’s okay to call out for help.  Each of these will be effortful, need time, and may result being stuck in another onslaught back with that word “forsaken”.

Truth is we do have an anchor of hope in which we are never truly forsaken.  There is ONE that is sovereign over all that may come.  No matter the event, no matter the situation, no matter how abandoned we may feel  or seem, we will always have  this anchor of assurance in the promises of ONE who is ever present, ever knowing and all powerful.  There is no struggle against the fatigue, the fear, the anxiety, the isolation.  There is just surrender into the arms of the ONE who loves and won’t let go.  And we are promised security, assurance, presence and strength.

 

Deuteronomy 31:6  Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your GOD, He is the One who goes with you.  He will not leave you nor forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:8  And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you.  He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear or be dismayed

Joshua 1:5  No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you.  I will not leave you nor forsake you.

Ezra 9:9  Yet our GOD did not forsake us in our bondage; but He extended mercy to us.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9  We are hard-pressed on every side yet not crushed, we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed.

Matthew 28:20  And lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.

Romans 8:38-39  For I am convinced that neither death no life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present not the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our LORD.

 

AMIDST

 

And here I am. 

Standing Still.

In this moment.

Amidst.   In the middle of … reflection of a year gone by – the year to come.

Amidst.  Surrounded by … memories that hold sorrow and memories that hold joy.

Amidst.  Between… yesterday and tomorrow.

Amidst.  In the thick of… the noise and busyness of my thoughts.

Amidst.  Throughout the course of… days bombarded with societal unrest, division, anger, ‘wokeness’ and chaos.

Amidst.  Enveloped, encircled, and covered… ALWAYS, by the Father’s love, refuge, renewal, comfort and Presence.

In this moment… in every moment, I’m amidst.

 What are you amidst? 

I posed this questions to a group of friends and answers began to pour:

“Pain – the challenge of living with a chronic health issue that makes even the simplest of tasks difficult; having your body rebel against you and learning to let things go (and to do only what brings joy).

Discontent – stagnant, emptiness that makes life feel lost – an illusion – (hoping there is light at the end of the tunnel).”

“Finding myself again after immense change and challenge (wanting to do so before the time to leave this world comes – it’s a big journey, splendid, scary and surprising).”

“Inspiration – excited to be making a piece of art for submission to a gallery!”

“Dealing with the changing roles from being the child to caring for a parent with advanced dementia –(I will make it no matter this storm in this stage of the cycle of life).”

“Aging – frustrated learning limitations (and finding there are things left to learn and enjoy).”

“Sadness – trying to move on from loss and let go of anger, expectations – just waking up each day, breathing and stepping forward”.

“Loneliness – life has become so disconnected with this pandemic.”

“Exhaustion – work never ends; I hate the bad news and all the bad feelings everyone has.”

“Family – the holiday season brings us from all over, we reconnect.”

“Missing someone – holding memories ‘til we meet again.”

“A move!   - overwhelmed having to let go, sort, and start (but anticipating the next chapter).”

“Fullness – having an adult child and family move in.  Adjusting.  Enjoying.”

“Waiting – a lot hangs in the balance here.”

Amidst. 

This moment as I stand still with this word my spirit grasps on to several things –

I am not Amidst alone – each of us lives life Amidst.  Perhaps there is great growth and support to be found in opening our hearts, our experiences and needs; to reach out for strength: to give strength as you stand still with one who’s Amidst.

It is good to mindfully acknowledge what one finds themselves Amidst.  Name it.  Then…

it is good to purposefully seek to find and be amidst… MORE.  A quiet place to stand still amidst the chaos and the begin to breathe, trust and abide in the Great I AM.

 

Father,   

We are thankful for your invitation “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest (Mark 6:31).  As we each find ourselves amidst – chaos, comfort, exhaustion, loss, support, change, comfort, anxiety, kindness, perseverance, tears, laughter – whatever it may be, assure us.  Assure us whatever else we may be amidst, we are always and forever amidst Your presence, Your love, Your strength, Your JOY.  Assure us in a tangible way directly or through one You may send. 

 

Romans 8: 37-39   -In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

Matthew 28:20   And surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

 

Isaiah 40:29  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

 

! Peter 5:7  Cast all you cares on Him, because He cares for you.

 

Ecclesiastes 3:11  He has made everything beautiful in its own time.  He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from the beginning to the end.

 

Lamentation 3: 22-23  The LORD’s compassions never fail; His mercies are new each day. 

 

 Isaiah 43:19  Behold, I am about to do something new; even now It is coming.  Do you not see it?  Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert.