For What It's Worth

 

Today we woke up to an uncertain outcome. Many are in a state of unrest, anxiety, disappointment, division.  As I got caught up on emails and connections this morning my thoughts and spirit were moved by a song from the past.  I was taken back to my childhood – while young I was aware of the period of unrest, anxiety and division.  We lived in Ohio at the time of Kent State.  The scars of war affected many and this was followed by racial tension when we lived in Milwaukee during the time of “desegregation’ with forced bussing in the schools which brought unrest, anxiety and division to personal, community and societal levels.  This song remained a spiritual anthem for the country for over a decade and was a call for people to stop – stop and really look at “what was going down”… ”Paranoia strikes deep, into your life it will creep, it starts when you’re always afraid” … and a reminder that “nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong”.

I listened to that song several times.  Quite a few memories came back; many thoughts flooded my mind.  First, I was reminded “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes)”.   Yet while change is one of the only constants of life along with uncertainty and disappointment, there is an even bigger more powerful constant… 

Hebrews 13:8   Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Malachi 3:6   For I the LORD do not change; therefore you ARE NOT CONSUMED.

Psalm 33:11  The counsel of the LORD stands forever, the plans of his hear to all generations.

Revelation 22:13  I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.

It is through the Constant of the Great I AM and His love that we can have unwavering security, certainty and peace no matter circumstance.

 

Which led to the second stream of thought as I came back to those lyrics… “Stop children what’s that sound, everybody look what’s going down”… ”Paranoia strikes deep, into your life it will creep, it starts when you’re always afraid” … and a reminder that “nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong”. And the words UNITY and LOVE provoked my mind and my being.  There has never really been a time without division, some level of anxiety or uncertainty in this country  - war for independence, war for individual rights and freedom, war AGAINST slavery and FOR human dignity, war against racial holocaust, unrest for equality, cries for right to life, cries against injustice, extreme “passionate protest” of domestic terrorism.  Somehow WE the people were able to overcome by choosing understanding, compassion, love, hope, faith in each other while holding on to FAITH in the Father. We chose to view our neighbor, our fellow citizens, as those who may have different views yet a fellow human who deserved respect.  We chose to be responsible and realize that our actions must not be based on paranoia resulting in destruction and division.  We chose rather to use our disappointment and our energy to POSITIVELY affect those around us and in our community resulting in RESPECT and UNITY.

It is my prayer today for each of us to STOP AND LOOK AROUND, to not allow the PARANOIA creep in as we fear outcomes or as once again circumstance around us shakes emotions, to CHOOSE RESPECT and UNITY, to find the ability to rise above and express or perform actions that BUILD not divide, to LOVE ONE ANOTHER as HE FIRST LOVED US.  I pray for this nation… yes.  BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY I PRAY FOR EACH OF OUR HEARTS.

2 Corinthians 13:11  Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice!  Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace.  And the God of love and peace will be with you.

Ephesians 4:32  to be mad new in the attitude of our minds.

Philippians 2:3  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.

Romans 14:19  Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.

Psalm 133:1  How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!

Use your words.....

Overwhelmed. Tired. Emotional. Determined. Broken. Release. Wept. Pause. View. Realize. Perspective. Seek. Mindful. Intentional. Reset. Open. Floodgate. Begin. Forward.

It’s been several weeks now that life has been being lived in a time and world that we could have not fully comprehended prior.  These weeks have caught up with me. 

Professionally I function in an environment surrounded by amazing people - we are constantly meeting immediate needs, diagnosing, treating, training, assisting, nurturing, giving, encouraging, solving, monitoring... going.  We compartmentalize our lives, suppress feelings and needs, build walls inside our minds to focus on job-duty-and mostly the well being of the patient.

But….

These weeks have caught up – PANDEMIC – daily numbers increase, inadequacies of a system are being exposed, suffering increases, shortages, hoarding, isolation, fear.

These weeks have caught up – PANIC AND HYSTERIA – ring out with constant “coverage” and “news” that feeds on itself and focuses and “reports” devastation, desperation, disheartened.

These weeks have caught up – the realization that ‘temporary measures’ may not be so temporary and all of us - professional, family, educational, retail, supply, medical – ALL OF US – are having to navigate living life in a different world.

These weeks have caught up – the compartmentalization, the suppression, the walls… were breached by tears.  My mind and my heart acknowledged a growing list:

- my inadequacies in meeting needs at work- for clients not only in their treatment but in their isolation

-the exhaustion of trying to do a job within the reality of many limitations and knowing what is to come

-being with an awesome team that not only supports those they serve but continually adjusts, dives in, accommodates and does all it takes to meet that need while helping each other as well

-seeing and feeling … Knowing - the toll that all of it is on each of them (and me) on the inside and yet it’s all pushed further down because the need and the job grow

- my inadequacies in my family role – emotional and physical weariness sometimes don’t leave much in the tank for the most important roles in my life as wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend

- my personal fears that cause me to isolate myself physically and emotionally from others

-guilt – don’t have the energy to interact once I leave the workplace, the dust builds, the clutter grows, I’m tired, ….

- Did I say fear? – for me, I see reality up close daily, I’ve also personally lived what many consider to be their greatest fear and while I know with faith and God’s promise and grace it was survived – even the possibility of walking that path again … I can’t breathe when fear grabs me.

These weeks have caught up –

As quickly as the tears came, they ended and the words began:

Overwhelmed, fear, illness, need, inadequacy, isolation, hopelessness, negativity, stupidity, partisan, disaster, pandemic, suffering, tired, desperate, devastation, weariness, need, helplessness, loneliness, uncertainty, suppress, compartmentalize, failure, division, broken, conflict, anger, frustration, blame, loss, death, distancing, urgent, despondent, sorrow, empty, numb,  gloom, hurt, …

The words continued:

Care, sacrifice, resilience, survival, help, treatment, honesty, openness, compassion, strength, support, generosity, ingenuity, thoughtfulness, kindness, humanity, presence, perseverance, renewal, community, resolution, patience, encouragement, trust, comfort, faith, love, hope, joy…

Words.  These units of language, labels, utterances, meanings for all that I’d been experiencing yet suppressing now identified or allowed to be expressed. 

I needed to “use my words”.  

In this “different world” at present we are surrounded constantly by the chaos of the expression of words for the events.   Perhaps what we need isn’t to have words bombarding us from the outside, but rather to allow words flow – openly, honestly, freely – real words  - flow from inside. 

It is only after we empty our thoughts and hearts of these words that we can allow words in that will renew and strengthen – even heal. But we need to be mindful and intentional which words we hold on to.

WORD.

I’m suddenly hit by the fact that there is one WORD that holds all I need -  THE WORD.    And the flood of words now continues …

Psalm 46:10 – Be still and know that I am God.

Romans 5:3- 5 – We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us because God’s love has been poured out into our hears through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Philippians 4:6-7 – Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

.

Isaiah 40: 29-31 – He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Romans 8:38 – 39 – For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, or any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

John 16:33 - I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart I have overcome the word!

Romans 8:26 - In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

1 Thessalonians 4:13ff – Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.  For we believe that Jesus died and rose again.

Proverbs 17:22 – A cheerful heart is good medicine

Jeremiah 17:14 – Heal me, LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.

2 Corinthians 4:16 – Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

Hope

Hope. That word seems to be heard often this time of year. 

We have just experienced the “Season of Joy; with all its “Merry” and find ourselves turning attention toward a new year.  Each of us have wishes, desires or a yearning for what we would like this coming year to hold.    

Hope.  To wish; to desire; to want; optimism; rosiness; a longing; a yearning; an ambition.

Hopes.  We’ve all use that word in facing what the future may hold.  For some it may be transformation or change; for others it may be healing; it could be a success of some kind; or simply what one perceives may bring happiness.  But wishing or wanting doesn’t always make it so.

This may lead to times when one is ‘afraid to hope’.  Perhaps there is dread or fear that what you are longing for – healing of illness or disease; repair of a broken relationship; achieving financial success, notoriety or status; or obtaining a material item anticipating happiness – won’t be gained or achieved. Yet there is still a clinging to that mere possibility with the ‘hope against hope’ despite having doubt or knowledge that something is not likely.  In many ways the foundation of one’s such hope lies in a feeling or belief that whether or not the wish is brought to fruition is largely dependent on the amount or strength of the person’s hope. One strives to be able to maintain optimism in the face of the unlikely or to keep up the illusion of a rosy outlook for the wish/desire despite circumstance.  It is presumed that if you have enough hope – if you truly are ‘hopeful’– it might just happen.  Anything is supposed to be possible if you choose to hope.

As I stood still with the word hope I discovered that the true meaning of hope comes from the word ‘elpis’ - the primary ‘elpo’ which is rooted differently from today’s ‘hoping’, desiring or wishing.

HOPE.  Trust; confidence; rely; an expectation of what is sure or certain. 

Having HOPE is actually having an expectation with the confidence and the reliance that it will come to past in with certainty.  You trust it will happen not just wish for it.

And here’s the beauty of real HOPE.  It’s the Christmas ‘Season of Joy’ -  the babe in the manger, Emanuel - that leads to our new year’s ‘Season of HOPE’. 

The key to HOPE’s confidence and trust is that it is not reliance on the what we are hoping for but rather in whom we are hoping.  You see, circumstance can be beyond our control.  As a human being our strength (of mind, body or spirit) may not be sustainable, may wane or have limits.  All of which may dim our hope.  Hope that something will occur or be had simply by desiring it often will lead to disappointment.

Martin Luther King Jr once stated “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”  As I’ve walked through this earthly journey, I’ve painfully learned my wishing, desiring, wanting…  my hoping… is finite and actually quite limited in its effect.  But I’ve also learned that HOPE – sustainable HOPE – HOPE that is had and maintained despite circumstance – HOPE that goes beyond understanding that brings peace which guards our hearts and minds – is only possible when it is placed in the Infinite One – Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God, Everlasting Father., the Prince of Peace.  With confidence and certainty, I know my needs will be met, that outcomes will strengthen me and even the darkest of circumstance hold blessings.

It is my prayer that you may HOPE confidently with reliance and trust as you step into the year ahead.

ISAIAH 40:31  Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  The will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  

Romes 15:13  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Hebrew 11:1  Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Romans 5:3-5  We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us because God's love has been poured into our heart through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.

The Present of Presence

This Christmas season I received something special… a reminder of a valuable gift which we each have received.   

A dear friend and I had a conversation about faith and prayer during life’s trials.  We talked of the Father’s love and how nothing – NO THING – can separate us from His love that is in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:38-39).  My friend was in the midst of exhaustion and an overwhelming battle – one that physically had taken its toll and emotionally had been draining.  At one point in our conversation I admitted that there was once a time where I felt abandoned and it was all I could do but repeat verses from the Word that at that point were just printed words in an attempt to hold on.  I had felt so empty that I didn’t even know how or what to pray but held on to the words that promised while “we do not know what we ought to pray for the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans” (Romans 8:26).   She took my hand and said “I have never felt that.  You know, I didn’t come to know until I was in first grade.  I had the opportunity to go to Sunday school and I even got a perfect attendance award – but from then I’ve always known He’s by my side.  Right here by my side.  There have been many times I’ve said ‘I can do this on my own’; I’ve slammed that door shut and I’ve gone for times I’ve ignored. But He’s always been there and deep down I have known.  I’ve even said I don’t need you I’ve got it under control.  But now, now I WANT it … I want it all”. 

Her words are on my mind… and in my heart during this Season.  I admit I’m not sure I can say “I’ve always known He’s right here by my side” with the strength and conviction I heard from my friend’s heart.  What a gift - such a precious present – it is to absolutely know God is present. 

This Christmas Season I am pondering the present of presence.  I’ve been marveling at this word ‘present’ – and the meanings it holds.  

Present. Adj. Being with, occurring, current, at hand, existing with.

Present.  Noun. A gift, a grant, an offering, a benefaction, a bestowal, a provision.

Present. Verb.  To furnish or endow with a gift; to bring, offer, to hand over, submit, to introduce, to show, to direct, to point to something.

I’ve been thinking about the appropriateness of this word for this Season.  Love came down as the present of a promised child bringing Hope alive – through the Savior there is no separation from our Father’s love.   There is assurance that He is present allowing comfort, strength, and peace throughout this life’s journey – even in the most difficult periods. This knowledge leads to the promised fulfillment of eternal presence – joy everlasting - more than we are capable of imagining.

My prayer today is for each of us to grab hold of the present of presence with strength and conviction that brings assurance and joy.

Exodus 33:14 – And He said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

Romans 8:38 – For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height not depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.

Jeremiah 29:13 – You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

Matthew 28:20 – And behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Hebrews 13:5 - for He has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 4:16 - Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in that time of need.

Reconcile

Reconcile.

To settle; to bring into agreement or harmony; make compatible; to square up accounts.

This Easter, the word “reconcile” has rested in both my heart and on my mind. 

There is joy in the gift of the cross – the brokenness that hinders relationship with God is fully reconciled. 

There are times when I’m painfully aware that I am fundamentally flawed – incapable of truly living this life in a virtuous, morally correct manner.  Reconciliation is necessary because in my humanness, no matter how I may try, I am unable to redeem myself – a stubborn child.

There are times in which I struggle with being unsettled, life seems tougher than it needs to be…. just emotionally draining.  This also is a result of my brokenness. I can be judgmental, impatient, resentful, anxious, insecure, self-centered, harbor mistrust… and the list goes on (and on) all of which leads to pain and regret – a hot mess resulting in discord and debt in my relationship with the Father and others as well.

Easter brings the good news that this list of brokenness is wiped clean – not just this once – but for all time.  Despite my wrongs and imperfection, I can daily live cleansed, at peace as His beloved unconditionally loved child.

Celebrating Easter and worshiping with our family of God brought an additional revelation/blessing.  We were there in union, together, in fellowship – connected by God’s grace and love.  The possibility to peacefully live each day in love and harmony in light of the Cross exists and perhaps should be consciously sought.

  

Sometimes as we travel life there is brokenness in relationships that is a source of unpleasantness or pain.  Hurt causes loss of trust. There is hesitation and uncertainty.  People are guarded and kept apart.  There is loss.  Again, the problem is due to our brokenness.  Sometimes despite our want or effort, it is hard - maybe even seemingly impossible to have reconciliation in relationship.  Words cannot mend.  Actions, attitudes, depth of hurt or betrayal will not fully be overcome in superficial human interactions. 

On our own, we are unable to provide true reconciliation that restores.  Instead we “reconcile” ourselves to accept the situation of a broken relationship – accepting that things will just always be unpleasant since the situation cannot or will not change.  This type of reconciliation doesn’t bring a lasting peace or rest.

Reconcile.

Reunite; harmonize; intercede; rectify.

Here’s the blessing…. The gift of Christ’s reconciliation also covers us in our relationships with others.  The same grace that provided harmony with the Father can reunite us with individuals from whom we are separated.  We can approach them – as a reconciled child of God – through the Love of the Father.  Reach out, talk with, interact with, serve or help that individual not of our own accord but trusting in the blessing the cross provides to intercede and rectify. 

And so my prayer this Easter is to hold the reconciliation of the Cross in my heart daily in my relationship with the Father and with others; that I may act through His grace and love beyond my brokenness. 

Rom 5:8  "God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Rom 5:1   "Since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Rom 5:10  “For if, when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!”