Hope

Hope. That word seems to be heard often this time of year. 

We have just experienced the “Season of Joy; with all its “Merry” and find ourselves turning attention toward a new year.  Each of us have wishes, desires or a yearning for what we would like this coming year to hold.    

Hope.  To wish; to desire; to want; optimism; rosiness; a longing; a yearning; an ambition.

Hopes.  We’ve all use that word in facing what the future may hold.  For some it may be transformation or change; for others it may be healing; it could be a success of some kind; or simply what one perceives may bring happiness.  But wishing or wanting doesn’t always make it so.

This may lead to times when one is ‘afraid to hope’.  Perhaps there is dread or fear that what you are longing for – healing of illness or disease; repair of a broken relationship; achieving financial success, notoriety or status; or obtaining a material item anticipating happiness – won’t be gained or achieved. Yet there is still a clinging to that mere possibility with the ‘hope against hope’ despite having doubt or knowledge that something is not likely.  In many ways the foundation of one’s such hope lies in a feeling or belief that whether or not the wish is brought to fruition is largely dependent on the amount or strength of the person’s hope. One strives to be able to maintain optimism in the face of the unlikely or to keep up the illusion of a rosy outlook for the wish/desire despite circumstance.  It is presumed that if you have enough hope – if you truly are ‘hopeful’– it might just happen.  Anything is supposed to be possible if you choose to hope.

As I stood still with the word hope I discovered that the true meaning of hope comes from the word ‘elpis’ - the primary ‘elpo’ which is rooted differently from today’s ‘hoping’, desiring or wishing.

HOPE.  Trust; confidence; rely; an expectation of what is sure or certain. 

Having HOPE is actually having an expectation with the confidence and the reliance that it will come to past in with certainty.  You trust it will happen not just wish for it.

And here’s the beauty of real HOPE.  It’s the Christmas ‘Season of Joy’ -  the babe in the manger, Emanuel - that leads to our new year’s ‘Season of HOPE’. 

The key to HOPE’s confidence and trust is that it is not reliance on the what we are hoping for but rather in whom we are hoping.  You see, circumstance can be beyond our control.  As a human being our strength (of mind, body or spirit) may not be sustainable, may wane or have limits.  All of which may dim our hope.  Hope that something will occur or be had simply by desiring it often will lead to disappointment.

Martin Luther King Jr once stated “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”  As I’ve walked through this earthly journey, I’ve painfully learned my wishing, desiring, wanting…  my hoping… is finite and actually quite limited in its effect.  But I’ve also learned that HOPE – sustainable HOPE – HOPE that is had and maintained despite circumstance – HOPE that goes beyond understanding that brings peace which guards our hearts and minds – is only possible when it is placed in the Infinite One – Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God, Everlasting Father., the Prince of Peace.  With confidence and certainty, I know my needs will be met, that outcomes will strengthen me and even the darkest of circumstance hold blessings.

It is my prayer that you may HOPE confidently with reliance and trust as you step into the year ahead.

ISAIAH 40:31  Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  The will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  

Romes 15:13  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Hebrew 11:1  Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Romans 5:3-5  We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us because God's love has been poured into our heart through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.

The Present of Presence

This Christmas season I received something special… a reminder of a valuable gift which we each have received.   

A dear friend and I had a conversation about faith and prayer during life’s trials.  We talked of the Father’s love and how nothing – NO THING – can separate us from His love that is in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:38-39).  My friend was in the midst of exhaustion and an overwhelming battle – one that physically had taken its toll and emotionally had been draining.  At one point in our conversation I admitted that there was once a time where I felt abandoned and it was all I could do but repeat verses from the Word that at that point were just printed words in an attempt to hold on.  I had felt so empty that I didn’t even know how or what to pray but held on to the words that promised while “we do not know what we ought to pray for the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans” (Romans 8:26).   She took my hand and said “I have never felt that.  You know, I didn’t come to know until I was in first grade.  I had the opportunity to go to Sunday school and I even got a perfect attendance award – but from then I’ve always known He’s by my side.  Right here by my side.  There have been many times I’ve said ‘I can do this on my own’; I’ve slammed that door shut and I’ve gone for times I’ve ignored. But He’s always been there and deep down I have known.  I’ve even said I don’t need you I’ve got it under control.  But now, now I WANT it … I want it all”. 

Her words are on my mind… and in my heart during this Season.  I admit I’m not sure I can say “I’ve always known He’s right here by my side” with the strength and conviction I heard from my friend’s heart.  What a gift - such a precious present – it is to absolutely know God is present. 

This Christmas Season I am pondering the present of presence.  I’ve been marveling at this word ‘present’ – and the meanings it holds.  

Present. Adj. Being with, occurring, current, at hand, existing with.

Present.  Noun. A gift, a grant, an offering, a benefaction, a bestowal, a provision.

Present. Verb.  To furnish or endow with a gift; to bring, offer, to hand over, submit, to introduce, to show, to direct, to point to something.

I’ve been thinking about the appropriateness of this word for this Season.  Love came down as the present of a promised child bringing Hope alive – through the Savior there is no separation from our Father’s love.   There is assurance that He is present allowing comfort, strength, and peace throughout this life’s journey – even in the most difficult periods. This knowledge leads to the promised fulfillment of eternal presence – joy everlasting - more than we are capable of imagining.

My prayer today is for each of us to grab hold of the present of presence with strength and conviction that brings assurance and joy.

Exodus 33:14 – And He said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

Romans 8:38 – For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height not depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.

Jeremiah 29:13 – You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

Matthew 28:20 – And behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Hebrews 13:5 - for He has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 4:16 - Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in that time of need.

Reconcile

Reconcile.

To settle; to bring into agreement or harmony; make compatible; to square up accounts.

This Easter, the word “reconcile” has rested in both my heart and on my mind. 

There is joy in the gift of the cross – the brokenness that hinders relationship with God is fully reconciled. 

There are times when I’m painfully aware that I am fundamentally flawed – incapable of truly living this life in a virtuous, morally correct manner.  Reconciliation is necessary because in my humanness, no matter how I may try, I am unable to redeem myself – a stubborn child.

There are times in which I struggle with being unsettled, life seems tougher than it needs to be…. just emotionally draining.  This also is a result of my brokenness. I can be judgmental, impatient, resentful, anxious, insecure, self-centered, harbor mistrust… and the list goes on (and on) all of which leads to pain and regret – a hot mess resulting in discord and debt in my relationship with the Father and others as well.

Easter brings the good news that this list of brokenness is wiped clean – not just this once – but for all time.  Despite my wrongs and imperfection, I can daily live cleansed, at peace as His beloved unconditionally loved child.

Celebrating Easter and worshiping with our family of God brought an additional revelation/blessing.  We were there in union, together, in fellowship – connected by God’s grace and love.  The possibility to peacefully live each day in love and harmony in light of the Cross exists and perhaps should be consciously sought.

  

Sometimes as we travel life there is brokenness in relationships that is a source of unpleasantness or pain.  Hurt causes loss of trust. There is hesitation and uncertainty.  People are guarded and kept apart.  There is loss.  Again, the problem is due to our brokenness.  Sometimes despite our want or effort, it is hard - maybe even seemingly impossible to have reconciliation in relationship.  Words cannot mend.  Actions, attitudes, depth of hurt or betrayal will not fully be overcome in superficial human interactions. 

On our own, we are unable to provide true reconciliation that restores.  Instead we “reconcile” ourselves to accept the situation of a broken relationship – accepting that things will just always be unpleasant since the situation cannot or will not change.  This type of reconciliation doesn’t bring a lasting peace or rest.

Reconcile.

Reunite; harmonize; intercede; rectify.

Here’s the blessing…. The gift of Christ’s reconciliation also covers us in our relationships with others.  The same grace that provided harmony with the Father can reunite us with individuals from whom we are separated.  We can approach them – as a reconciled child of God – through the Love of the Father.  Reach out, talk with, interact with, serve or help that individual not of our own accord but trusting in the blessing the cross provides to intercede and rectify. 

And so my prayer this Easter is to hold the reconciliation of the Cross in my heart daily in my relationship with the Father and with others; that I may act through His grace and love beyond my brokenness. 

Rom 5:8  "God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Rom 5:1   "Since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Rom 5:10  “For if, when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!”

Where I Am - 'NOW HERE'

There are many times I find myself saying "Where Am I?".
     - I get to the parking garage after a long day of working, studying and class and look up at all 5 floors wondering - I barely remember the beginning of the day, it's blur,  and all that still needs to be done let alone which floor I left the van on.  "Where Am I?!!"
     - I just spent the last several hours under piles of research and studying.  There are piles of papers around the table, my computer has multiple screens pulled up, and there's an unfinished sentence on the paper in front of me that holds my action item list.  I just returned focus after a phone call that concluded with me facing and sorting through some personal things that weigh on my heart.  Looking down at the spread of  chaos in front of me I can only say out loud "Where Am I?!"
     - Late, late at night (or early, early in the morning --- or somewhere in between) my mind and my heart reel from topic to topic and person to person.  'A' has so much going on in life and has this person making things more difficult with drama- drama 'A' doesn't need at this moment and is really only due to this person's narcissism and need for recognition.  'B' isn't sure where life is going to land after circumstance changed positions.  What if's flood through my thought process about health issues as I need to make decisions regarding testing and  treatment for chronic health situation after learning results. My van has twice now responded with an eerie deadness when I turned the key to start it - while it's eventually started I have a feeling of impending doom and wonder at what point are repairs really being 'nickel-ed and dime-ed to death'.  Juggling school, family, projects, commitments, planning for events in my mind - each has its list of what must be done; all that I need to obtain; people to be contacted; and more. And now I'm wide awake with a migraine wondering how it got to be hours later; wondering how I'm going to get through the day and be effective; wondering where this 'adventure in thought' all began and realizing this day actually is starting ready or not. "Where Am I?!"
     -I am at a meeting yet find myself toggling between  multiple computer screens in down moments where I am not needed or during items don't really apply to me.  We'll not mention my pulling out my phone to check messages or how I add to the notes section of my grocery list for the way home or those moments i looked at the clock then out the window thinking about a dear one who's life was just turned upside down.  Looking back at the agenda and my computer I think "Where Am I?!"

These are not isolated events for me (as I am sure is the case for many).  And I could go on and on with situation after situation as examples.  

I don't know how I fell into this trap over the years and become so complacent about existing in this space and pace that has allowed outside forces impact me and my life to the point that I now find myself physically.... emotionally... spiritually.  

Recently, life has both forced and yet so graciously and beautifully allowed me to pause and BE.  I've been taking stock as to WHERE I AM and learning life lessons.

"When your mind is everywhere, it is nowhere." I didn't want to be 'nowhere'. I both want and need to be 'now  here'.  Going from 'nowhere' to 'now here' is just a matter of a single space.  The space I take to BE.  The space of time I now use to remind myself ..
"Where am I? - HERE: When am I? - NOW."  
Going from 'nowhere' to 'now here' is a matter of a space in which I hold today - consciously -  not allowing moments slip through my fingers half lived by worrying, longing, planning, multi-tasking and all that puts me nowhere.

Over the past few weeks I have been effortfully being 'now here'.  I take the space I need to breathe - to BE.  When I began this, I heard words in a song multiple times from multiple sources that I finally took space to listen to:

Breathe, just breathe. Come and rest at My feet
 and BE.  Just BE. 
Chaos calls but all you really need 
is to just breathe.

Interesting how GOD always finds ways to meet me right WHERE I AM.  HE called - I listened and will hopefully continue to do so as I go through each day making that space to go from 'nowhere' to 'now here'.  This is WHERE I AM.... N-O-W experiencing the blessings of joy and peace in life that 'now here' brings.

My prayer for you is to put your own space in 'nowhere' and find the same joy and peace.

"This is the day the LORD has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it".

My Mother's Bible - The Legacy Found

Still.

In this moment I was still.

During this past week my spirit was all but still.

A phone call - Mom had fallen... fractured skull, multiple brain bleeds; an immediate flight across the country; hours of driving; decisions; sitting bedside; tears; conversations; prayers; more tears; arrangements; visitations; a service.

But for this moment, I was still - not moving; motionless; quiet.

In this moment I sat on the couch in a quiet room in a quiet house - not moving and not making a sound.

The silence was broken by a deep quiet sigh that seemed to hush my soul as I cast my eyes downward and to the left.

There it sat.  

Still.

I picked it up.

As I opened it God's "still, small voice" spoke.  Hidden blessing poured into my being. 

At first there were not words - just realization.  I was no longer in the emptiness of quiet.  I was in the calm of presence... both the presence of the Father whose love knows no bounds and in the comforting presence of my dearest friend, my mentor, my prayer warrior, my encourager... my mom.

Then the words came. 

They were my mother's words in her handwriting. 

Words of encouragement, support, comfort.  Words of trust, peace, blessed assurance.

Words of FAITH.
 

I "listened" to her words. As she "spoke" them I couldn't help but sit in awe and wonder as I turned pages and looked at the margins filled with her writing that held her thoughts and prayers.  She had so much to share...  Actually she'd given so much - not just in this moment but over a lifetime.  With God's Word she had nurtured our faith as we grew; prayed for us daily - - - even to her last earthly day.  What a gift! Blessing beyond measure. 

In the STILL, her legacy was found.

As I continued to turn pages, I began to soak in the words she had so purposefully underlined.

And my spirit heard the sound of STILLNESS. The Father's Word spoke.

"Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD which he will work for you today... The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be still"(Exodus 14:13-14).

"My presence will go with you and I will give you rest" (Exodus 33:14).

"The LORD bless you ad keep you:  The LORD make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you:  The LORD lift up his Countenance upon you, and give you peace" (Numbers 6:24-26).

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives to I give you  Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid (John 14:27)

I went to the page that held Psalm 46.  His Word spoke "Be STILL and know that I am God". 

I was reminded that the command "be still" in Hebrew comes from the verb rapha which means "to be weak, to let go, to release". 

Be Still.  As I allowed myself to be weak the tears once again came letting go of all I had held I found release. 

It was my turn for words.

"Father,

Thank you for your tangible presence.  Thank you for your living Word.  Thank  you for giving your Son that we may live.  Thank you for my mom - for the faithful woman who raised me, loved me, nurtured me in you.  Thank you for releasing her from the sorrow and pain.  Thank you for this time with you... and her.  Allow me to carry her legacy on through You and give my children the blessing it holds."

Yes, in this moment I was STILL.

At rest; serene; restful;  untroubled; peaceful.

 It is my prayer for you to be blessed by the Word and Believe...