Live in the Longing

 

Closing the day standing still with the beginning of Advent. I’ve been in thought as the month of November has wound down and December has approached.  All around I’ve noted Christmas decorations appearing on homes; windows yielding views of Christmas trees; Christmas craft bazaars, programs and festivals are occurring; Christmas music playing; the noise of Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales; and dates on calendars filling with seasonal happenings. Many feel anticipation growing, festiveness building, and Christmas mirth unfolding.  

There is a deeper feeling to be noted.  It lies behind the hurry, beyond the visible, below the joyful melodies, and beneath the merriment and amusement. It exists amidst the noise, the distractions, and the busyness of our minds and the world around us.  It persists in the depths of our hearts with growing tension.  It’s deeper than a wish or a desire. Pause – just for a moment.  Let yourself feel it.  Acknowledge it. Do you recognize it?

Longing.

A strong persistent yearning for something undefined or distant.

A languishing of the heart to be connected to that which is missing or to fill what is hollow.

Longing is a constant feeling for each of us.  For some it overwhelms and becomes despair.  For others, it becomes anxiety and fear.  Amidst the bitter parts of our earthly existence – pain, loneliness, grief, regret, conflict, weariness, disappointment, loss – we long for hope, for peace, for joy and for love. 

Here’s the thing…  It is during this ‘season’ of Christmas that the feeling of longing swells and becomes quite beautiful if you stand still with it. Because Christmas, the coming of Christ, meets our longing. It stops the languishing of our souls.  It ends our hearts’ yearning. It fills our emptiness. We see our hope become certainty.  We are given peace, that which is the abundance of God’s grace making us whole.  We know joy, inner delight in which we live unaffected by circumstance. We find love that is unconditional, given and made whole and complete through Christ’s coming and sacrifice.

During this year’s Advent, this time of “coming,” this time of “arrival,” I will live in the longing.  I will slow down and recognize my heart and soul’s sacred longing. I will pause and stand still in the hope, the peace, the joy and the love that Christmas, the coming of Christ, brings.  On Christmas I will celebrate the fulfillment of the longing of my soul and live life from that gift.  Join me? It is my prayer you will do the same.

May the God of HOPE fill you with ALL joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit. -  Romans 15:13

You will be secure, because there is HOPE; you will look about you and take your rest in safety. – Job 11:18

You will go out in JOY and be led forth in PEACE. – Isaiah 55:12

Do not grieve, for the JOY of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

For I am sure that neither death no life, nor angels, nor rulers, no things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39

 

“Behold, I will do a new thing…”

 

Over the past year, and especially the last few months, life has changed. Transition in phases of life is happening. A new season of life moves forward. The next chapter is beginning.

There are endings… the kids are grown; the job has been left; and there were goodbyes.

There are beginnings…. the family grows; a new direction appears; new relationships form; new rhythms are established.

Changes and challenges come together.

What kind of transition is happening in your life? I posted this question and answers poured in:  

·  Starting a new job;

·       Graduated and don’t know what I really want to do – so many applications and interviews but having a hard time getting a call back;

·       Returning to being the person God fearfully and wonderfully made me to be;

·       Just purchased a new home and the move is crazy-new city, new schools, new job, new everything;

·       Still getting used to life without my husband – it’s not just the loss but navigating life;

·       Adjusting to being a working mom;

·       Having a body that is letting me down – a challenging diagnosis;

·       Trying to navigate the dynamics of a blended family;

·       Settling parent’s estate realizing I’m an orphan;

·       Still mourning the loss of my pup, he was a faithful companion;

·       Trying to find a way to calm conflict with my kids – our family has changed;

·       Recovering from a stroke and relearning how to just do life;

·       Realized I don’t really have friends – making and keeping friends shouldn’t be this hard at this stage of life- the loneliness can be overwhelming. 

Change in life is constant, a progression of our life journey that sometimes catches one off guard. Standing Still upon transition, looking the next chapter I realized that there is a hesitancy to start turning pages. The last chapter held many joys and sorrows; had a vast array of interesting, amazing, humbling, and very dear people; provided the opportunity to be a blessing and to be blessed by others; was a time in which I lost a bit of myself; affected the core of who I am; and quite honestly it was exhausting by the end. Beginning this next chapter and stepping into the unknown of this transition comes with many feelings—hesitation, uncertainty, excitement, anticipation…. perhaps a little anxiety.

Have you ever experienced hesitancy in the transition you are facing —you start, then pause, start, then pause—uncertain of what’s next yet so ready to move on and begin?

As I have been standing still there is a verse that seemingly is continually placed in front of me and I have had to be still, listen, open my mind and let it soak into my heart.

“Behold, I will do a new thing; now it will spring forth. Do you not perceive it? I will make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:19)

The Father is saying, “My child, turn your attention to what is before you and take action.  I Myself, the One who intentionally created you; the One who placed the stars and made all things; the One who has been steadfast and faithful; the One who quieted the storm; the One who has kept all His promises; the One who gives blessed assurance – will provide for you what I have appointed. It’s starting now – no waiting. It is sprouting and will grow. Be aware. Acknowledge things are changing and know I’m doing something fresh, to renew.  It will be different and better than where you have been. Looking at all that is unfolding, know I will make a path through the chaos, the anxiety, and the uncertainty.  In the midst of this, I am providing for you.”

Perhaps the Father is whispering to you in the midst of transition. In the midst of your transition or circumstance, may you begin to perceive the new thing the Father is doing for you, in you and through you. May you find assurance and strength as the ‘road in the wilderness’ is laid before you.  May you trust in the Father’s faithfulness as He provides all you need as you begin this new chapter and throughout.  And may you rest and abide in His love.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

 

LIGHT

“Arise, shine, for your light has come; and the glory of the LORD is risen upon you (Isaiah 60:1).”

The depth of night had surrounded them.  They were exhausted after days of travel followed by hours of birthing labor.  The babe slept in His mother’s arms.  Even the animals slept in the shadows as darkness rested over the land. Dawn began, light slowly breaking over the horizon.  The glory of the LORD had risen not just as the sun rose upon the earth that morning, but upon all mankind for all time.  God Himself, revealed to the word as an infant, yet with all His splendor; LOVE manifested – Word become flesh, full of grace and truth.  We celebrate the coming of the LIGHT.  This LIGHT is more than a yearly celebration.  The LIGHT is a daily invitation…  Every morning, the darkness of night turns to day.  No matter what the night has held… exhaustion, fatigue, restlessness, anxiety, fear… light comes. 

 The depth of night… darkness, surrounds each of us at some point in our lives. 

…. a wave of darkness in the form of anxiety and panic overtakes.  It becomes a struggle to breathe with a sudden feeling of nausea.  The heart races and there is a struggle to catch a breath.  The depression and anxiety though felt deeply – is hidden from other’s view. 

… darkness overshadows the holiday – loss is greatly felt in the midst of what is supposed to be a joyous holiday.

… the darkness of uncertainty looms over the family -choices over which bills should be paid first overwhelm; there seems to be a sense of hopelessness for the future with the feeling of never being able to keep up with costs of living.

… darkness weighs upon the parent’s heart as the child struggles – when a child is in pain – the parent hurt’s just as much and the feeling helplessness to ease suffering weighs heavily upon one’s very being.

… mourning still overcomes the mother’s heart – at times she is seemingly ambushed by memories that overwhelm suddenly, losing a child goes against the natural order of life.

… mankind struggles as a race, as a society – the darkness overwhelms with war, hatred, contempt, animosity, division, ‘wokeness’ that causes intellectual and spiritual discrimination without true tolerance or freedom - all resulting in individual isolation, hopelessness …darkness.

Yet “the people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has come (Matthew 4:16)”.   The LIGHT of Christmas penetrates any darkness we may live under in this world.  No matter circumstance - our attention, our hearts, our minds… our hope is enlightened, strengthened, comforted… satisfied.

“This is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you:  God is LIGHT; in Him there is no darkness at all.” (1 John 1:5)

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5)

 

It is my prayer for you to know LIGHT will come. To know that even the darkest place gives way to LIGHT. May the LIGHT of His LOVE provide you with reassurance as the smallest of glimmers draw you mind and heart into LIGHT.   Each day, may you accept the LIGHT’s invitation to find the PEACE, HOPE, JOY and LOVE in which you can rest assured… in this moment, in moments to come, and eternally.

that shepherds' eve

 

It was a night like any other night.  Calm. Quiet. As the darkness deepened, the night sky revealed the constellations.  They sat on a hill above the flock, resting yet vigilant.  Wind gently blew with the sound of the sheep occasionally rising.  Crickets seemed to sing a gentle lullaby. The calmness was welcomed for the days were long, dusty and hot. Life was hard, especially under Roman rule.  Many didn’t even own their own animals.  The work was tiresome, tending to flocks with the goal of producing certain quantities of wool and milk products.  But when night came, the turmoil of all that was life seemed to fade. 

Then everything changed.

A piercing light appeared in the dark.  An overwhelming sense of awe seemed to flow from the source of light.  The shepherds themselves were overcome as a proclamation was heard through a voice that shook the core of there souls and they fell to their knees. “An angel of the LORD appeared to them and the glory of the LORD shone around them, and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid.  I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all people.  Today in the town of David, a Savior has been born to you; He is the Messiah, the LORD.  This will be a sign to you:  You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger. ‘Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace, good will toward men.’” And the angels left.  The dark of night returned.  The sound of the sheep and crickets floated gently.  While all seemed to settle to the routine, everything had changed, nothing was the same.  These men left everything on those hills to go and see that which was proclaimed.  Upon witnessing the fulfillment of the message, each of their lives—their very beings—were so transformed that their purposes from then on were to glorify and praise God for all the things they had heard and seen; and to spread the word that the Messiah had come.

 

For us, this day may start like any other day.  Day in, day out we go about routine.  We work.  We struggle with meeting deadlines, completing routines, tackling tasks and schedules, and meeting needs.  The days are tiresome.  This day ends and we attempt to break away from the distractions and find rest.  And we pause in the midst of preparations for a holiday that seem to overwhelm with endless lists, planning and tasks. 

Candles pierce the darkness that envelopes today’s world and its daily oppression.  An overwhelming sense of awe flows into our soul and we are witness to the experience of the shepherds.  We enter the timeless presence of the Messiah and the glory of the LORD shines around us.  We are brought good news that brings great joy.  We find a baby wrapped in cloths lying in a manger.

 

It is my prayer for you this Christmas Eve that you hear and see.  May you find the fulfillment of the Word’s proclamation.  May you find the glory of the LORD shining around you.  As this eve gives way to a Christmas morn, may you experience a Light that shines through the chaos of this world; that shines through the daily tasks and routines; that shines through whatever apathy, anxiety, darkness, shadows or brokenness that may weigh in your life.  May you be renewed, transformed and filled with joy so you return glorifying and praising God.  And when needed, may you be reminded of the greatest gift and love of all—given in a manger and through the cross. May you forever know…

 

“The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.”  John 1:5

... But take heart!

 

 

In this world…

There are times when noise from the outside enters -

Chaotic, prolonged, pervasive noise holds thoughts in din.

The pensiveness and contemplation on the mind do weigh –

Becoming emotion in the heart for an unwelcomed stay.

But take heart!

Have courage, be bolstered and brave, and confident be;

For through trust, love and hope there is rest for thee.

In stillness, listening to whispers the heavy heart will mend.

There is peace and joy to come, the temporal chaos will end.

 

“In this world you will have trouble…”  John 16:33

 

Trouble… difficulty, concern, strife, disorder, adversity, suffering, affliction, struggle, mess, pain, problem, unrest, woe, discontent, sorrow, tribulation, grief, misfortune, heartache, trial.

It gives pause that a single word encapsulates such that is the heavy dark shadow of the human condition.  No one, not a single human being escapes this experience.  It is a certainty of life.  It comes in many forms – in so many, many ways.

It is found globally…

Famine - prolonged hunger regionally giving witness to suffering, acute malnutrition and death by starvation.

War - armed conflict between factions or nations with extreme violence, economic destruction and death.

It is found societally…

Racism - unequal treatment based on race, skin color, or ethnicity.

Abuse - physical, verbal or emotional behaviors intended to intimidate, offend or harm.

Politicalization with growing division.

Contempt.

It is personal coming throughout our lives. Circumstance often beyond control.

Loss… the death of one for whom you cared or loved; the end of employment; the loss of a home; the devastation of natural disaster such as a tornado, hurricane, earthquake or wildfire.

Pain…  a physical chronic health condition or an unexpected and unwelcomed diagnosis; emotional pain as a spouse leaves, a friend walks away, an aching heart full of heart or anger or disappointment weighs heavily.

Struggle… trying to make ends meet on an ever-shrinking budget; conflict in a relationship; fatigue or ailment that makes a daily task a difficult challenge.

“In this world you will have trouble.” 

Trouble.  The Greek word for trouble in this verse is ‘thlipsis’ meaning tribulation, especially internal pressure that causes someone to feel confined, restricted, without options, no way of escape.

“In this world YOU WILL HAVE trouble.”

It is certain.

Just as certain is the promise statement for each held in the full verse.

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

“But take heart…”   -  To have one’s confidence, courage or happiness bolstered by (something).  To receive courage or comfort from some fact. To be brave.

Each of us in the face of whatever or all the trouble this world throws us in the midst of, may possess bold strength; hold on with full assurance; and be rest in assurance that we will not remain overwhelmed by trouble’s chaos.  We may have courage to endure and confidence we will overcome the tribulation for He has overcome all for us.

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world.”

We can anchor our hearts, our minds, our beings - in the One who overcame, the One who conquered, the One Who Is, Was and Will be always with us, always loves us.

My prayer for you this day is that no matter the trouble you are in the midst of – no matter the difficulty, concern, strife, disorder, adversity, suffering, affliction, struggle, mess, pain, problem, unrest, woe, discontent, sorrow, tribulation, grief, misfortune, heartache, or trial – you will be able to breathe and ‘take heart’ as you trust in the One who has not only overcome the world, but has overcome and reigns over sin and death.  May you name your trouble, release it to the One who overcomes.  May you know His love and feel the comfort and the victory that through Him is yours. May you breathe deeply and freely, as you trust in Him and abide in His love.

 

“And lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.” – Matthew 28:20

 

“Now, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:37-39

 

It is finished - the Rend

 

He said, “It is finished!” and bowing His head He gave up His spirit. – John 19:30

It was declared for all to hear and then witnessed.  Matthew records, “Jesus cried out with a loud voice, then yielded up His spirit’ (27:51) and Mark echoes those words, “Jesus cried out with a loud voice, and breathed His last” (15:37). Luke tells us “Jesus had cried out with a loud voice ‘Father, into Your hands I commit My spirit’ and having said this, He breathed His last words” (23:46)

Finished.  "Tetelestai", from the Greek meaning 'made perfect', fulfill; complete.  'Tetelestai' - scripture using the tense of the verb that indicates both a point in time completed and that would continue to be so.  Christ covered the debt of all man's sin.  Romans 5 describes the peace and hope attained through the events on Good Friday.  "just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, in this way death came to all, because all sinned" - "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we no stand and boast in the hope of the glory of God".  You see until that darkened day, we were unable to have true peace with the Father.  Sin separated us so much so that in the Holy of Holies in God's tabernacle, there hung a curtain visually and physically establishing separation between YHWH and the people.  It hung as a marked boundary between God and the sinfulness of man.  It was not possible to go beyond that boundary so much so that if anyone other than the High Priest entered the Holy of Holies, he would instantly die. 

“It is finished!” With this loud cry, He breathed His last.  The earth shook, the rocks split, tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people were raised to life (Matthew 27:51:52)

 

“It is finished!”  The moment was most loudly and definitively proclaimed by the rend.  For in that moment of atoning sacrifice, direct access to God was accomplished so thoroughly that the curtain in the Holy of Holies was completely torn.

“At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.” – Matthew 27:51

“The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.” – Mark 15:38

“And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.” – Luke 23:45

This moment, the rend – the tearing of the curtain – was so significant and so meaningful that three out of the four Gospels testified of it using the Greek “schizo” – to rend; to be torn with force; to split or sever violently.

 

“It is finished!” – “Tetelestai” – then, now, for all time. Beautifully complete with the rending of a curtain.  And now:

“In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.” – Ephesians 3:12

“We have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.” – Ephesians 1:7

“For through Him we have access by one Spirit to the Father.” - Ephesians 2:18

“Having therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus.” – Hebrews 10:19

 

It is my prayer for you that you may with all freedom and confidence, as a result of Christ’s atonement and the riches of His grace, openly enter directly into the presence of the Father and be overwhelmed by Love.

 

'hope and a plan'...

 

Today I heard the phrase “hope and a plan” during a conversation with one dear to me.  My heart and spirit were overwhelmed with a tidal wave of emotion and thought.  There have been times I stood in the darkness of a period of life… overwhelmed with helplessness, desperate, lost, exhausted, drowning…

When one is here, you just want an end, an answer, some sort of plan to grasp onto in which there may bring relief… hope… healing. 

“hope and a plan” – as remembrance of my own journeys came, I felt for the one dear – understanding of the places in which they had stood – understanding the momentary relief and understanding the hope that the relief will stay and all will be well.

“hope and a plan” – it brought to mind a verse that is often given in times to provide comfort and assurance…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

I have clung to this verse in seasons.  And as I have… my understanding of this verse has deepened leading to an even greater comfort and assurance.

My hope in each moment of a dark season had been different… I hoped/wanted my child to live.  I hoped/wanted healing for another of my children.  I hoped/ wanted a loved one to find light in life out of the shadows of depression – for myself as well to escape the dark times and to live without the fear and desperation that accompanies anxiety disorder. I sought the comfort of this verse and looked for “hope and a future” where prosperity of relief would come.

And as I held and meditated on those words I was compelled to consider their depth and context.

• “declares the LORD’ – The Father Himself; YahWeh, the one who IS, WAS and ALWAYS WILL BE, the Great I AM; says/speaks these words.  The one who spoke all into being speaks Hope and a future for me personally – “you” – me singular.
• “plans to prosper you and not harm you”- The Hebrew word for ‘prosper here is ‘shalom’ meaning completeness, welfare and peace.  And the Hebrew use here for ‘not harm you’ means ‘not of evil’.
•  “plans to give you hope and a future” - The Hebrew for ‘plan’ is  ‘machashabah’  - designs, thoughts, intentions, purposes.  The Hebrew word for ‘give’ is ‘nathan’ meaning to put, set, establish, commit.   The Hebrew word for ‘future’ is ‘acharith’ meaning the after-part, end.  The Hebrew word for ‘hope’ comes from the root ‘qavah’ meaning ‘expectation’.   

All together this means that the Great ‘I AM’ has established and committed intentions for me personally that will that will bring me no evil but will provide welfare and peace that I can expect and there will be an end to this season.

 

But the final and completeness of the blessing in all of Jeremiah 29:11 is really found in the verses that follow:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).  “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.” (Jeremiah 29:12-14a)

The completeness of the blessing is more than ‘hope and a plan’.  Yes ‘I AM’ declares and speaks His intention for Peace, and expectant Hope, of an end to the season for me personally.  But even greater, He declares that He will listen to me, He will be found and very much present in the season and will bring me out of the captivity of it. 

I note that even though His plans may have been different than what I wanted – through out the season and in the outcome, I am now able to see within the perspective of time passing – I was given His presence and peace… and blessings I would have never experienced otherwise.  Darkness did not and will not overshadow my being.  I have and will live in the prosperity of Peace and expectant Hope that He declares for me personally.  Even more so I have the blessed assurance, Peace and Hope the Father provides through His mercy and grace in the gift of Christ’s redeeming Love.

 

My prayer for you is that in the midst you will find ‘hope and a plan’ – HIS for you personally; to grasp on to the entirety of HIS declaration and promise for you… He is present and listening; He declares for you -now and for eternity – a prosperity of Peace, expectant Hope and His loving presence.

 

KNOWING

It seems that over the past few years, over and over the phrase “unprecedented times’ has been used.  Collectively, we have been through the chaos of pandemic, isolation, division, economic strife, hysteria, and social unrest.  Yet each of us have had a profoundly unique experience.

I have struggled at times - moment by moment; hour by hour; day by day - with living amidst the unexpected and the uncertainties. As the calendar flips to a new year, there is reflection on the past year.  However, I find my mind is barraged with a convoluted mess of words that flood through my thoughts.  I realize that for me, the reflection is not that of a sole year experienced.  The last three years or so seem to be inseparable in experience… impact… growth.  I was both witness to and experienced more that I was able to process in the midst of all of it - Fear, Anxiety, Illness, Isolation, Suffering, Loneliness, Sadness, Mourning, Emptiness, Loss, Death, Darkness, Fatigue, Exhaustion, Brokenness, Sorrow, Unrest, Negativity, Defeat, Struggle, Numbness, Pause, View, Realization, Weeping, Release, Feeling, Rest, Restoration, Seeking, Reset, Mindfulness, Intentionality, Overwhelm, Floodgate, Breathing, Trusting, Beginning, Abiding…

Again, all of it a collective experience – yet so very uniquely, impactfully lived and felt by every single person.

 

Every year I choose a word to define the year to come for myself.  I try to use it to identify a focus; a lens for which to view the coming experiences of the new year; to mindfully and intentionally live in the light of the word.  During ‘these unprecedented times,’ each new year I wanted to have that chosen word be “JOY”.  This is the fourth year I have whispered the word ‘JOY’ to the new year. Yet each new year had instead given me a different word to live with.  Providence granted me the word I needed.

 

BREATHE – inhale, exhale -inhale, exhale.  That year there were many moments I felt that struggle to breathe emotionally, mentally… spiritually.  Anxiety, fear, isolation, uncertainty all seemed to smother my being.  That year I feared for loved one’s health – began to ‘isolate’ which slowly caused disconnect in so many aspects of life.  But at the same time as a medical professional, I was thrown into the middle of all the pandemic brought – illness, end of life, struggle to maintain health and life of others (and myself), quarantine brought so much pain and sadness, separation and loneliness for people and families at times that were supposed to be experienced with the presence of loved ones. I wanted that year to intentionally place JOY as my word but I was told by the Father to BREATHE.  …Inhale, exhale… pause for breath… rest.  This word was a reminder – when the feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, sadness, loneliness darkened me I had to BREATHE – inhale, exhale; pause, rest.

“And He said to them, ‘Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” – Mark 6:31

 

TRUST – reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety of The Father; Confident expectation.  That next year so many of the same struggles continued to overwhelm.  Uncertainty during pandemic began to cause isolation, division, and unrest that deepened all the while policies that were supposed to help and protect added and continued pain, sadness, frustration, fatigue…   I knew at this point I could breathe.  I found ways to pause and rest.  This gave the ability to function.  But with no end to chaos in sight, to intentionally BREATHE didn’t always feel a strategy that was sustainable for a continuous, indefinite, unforeseen, uncertain length of time. As much as I wanted and intended to cling to the word JOY – that year the Father spoke the word TRUST.   Walk each step each day in faith.  The Spirit encourage my days whispering ‘TRUST”… BREATHE and TRUST.

“Trust in the LORD with all  your heart, and lean not on your own understanding…In all your ways (as you do your job, as you hold the hand, as you comfort others, as you see and experience loss, as you dig through your own numbness and doubts to be the one to hold up or encourage another, as you fight to feel, as you doubt, as you cry out, as you find glimmers and embrace fleeting ‘normalness’) – In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your path.”  - Proverbs 3:5-6

 

ABIDE – remain; continue; stay; dwell; reside.  The next year again, I hesitantly said … JOY?  And the word ABIDE was placed in my heart.  Some lived this year feeling able to get out of the shadow of pandemic – Some of us existed very much within the confines of the territory of the pandemic.  By now isolation had birthed and nurtured divisiveness, negativity that had gone unchecked, intolerance, debt, anger, depression and numbers individuals suffering with mental health issues that have never been seen before… and effects we still have not grasped as societies and as individuals.  But as I took those pauses to BREATH and over and over repetitively placed TRUST - I was reminded throughout the year to ABIDE.  Circumstance, experiences, feelings continued.  I had no bit of control or couldn’t change or manage any of the chaos but I could BREATHE… TRUST (albeit hesitantly) … and ABIDE.   ABIDE in the presence of the one WHO IS, WAS and ALWAYS will be.  ABIDE in the ONE who is LOVE. 

“I have come as a LIGHT into the world, that whoever believes in Me will not abide in darkness.” (john 12:46).

“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; ABIDE in my love.” (John 15:9)

 

And now as I sit with the beginning of this new year, I didn’t try to choose my word.  I was intentionally still and waited for the word to be given.

“Be still and know that I am GOD.” (Psalm 46:1)

KNOW.   To perceive or understand as fact or truth; to apprehend clearly with certainty. To be cognizant or aware of. 

“Be still and KNOW…” 

The past three years – in all my experiences, in all my growth, through the emotion and feelings… I could declare “I KNOW.”   And KNOWING anchors me.  KNOWING allows me to live above and beyond any uncertainty and unknown.  I KNOW peace, hope, love and joy… that feeling I’ve chased through the turmoil of all.  For this year, I will live KNOWING.  KNOWING I am His beloved child.  KNOWING I am secure.  KNOWING that through His grace and mercy I will one day rest where there is no more sorrow, no more pain. KNOWING I am never alone.  KNOWING…

 

My prayer for you is to rest, live, love, have joy, have peace, have hope no matter what this new year holds. My prayer for you is KNOWING – you are His beloved child.  May you carry this word through the new year with your own personal word that you are given.

 

“And those who know Your name will put their trust in YOU; for YOU, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.” (Psalm 9:10)

“Cause me to hear Your loving kindness in the morning, for in You I do trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk” (Psalm 143:8)

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  And seek my and call upon me and I will hear you.” (Jeremiah 29:11-12)

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in HIM. So that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

 

 

 

 

Losing faith...

 

Losing faith…

I have heard this phrase spoken in a few different contexts as of late and it made me think a bit – actually a bit more than a bit.

I’ve noted as I commute to work and run necessary errands that there are more and more individuals and even families on corners holding signs in desperation – “looking for human kindness”, “Any bit helps”, “Lost everything please help”, “silence is compliance”, “I used to be someone”, “Blah, blah, blah… is anyone reading, does anyone care”.  Homelessness is seen on city streets everywhere. 

We are years into a world pandemic in which viral infection spreads causing more than illness – separation, isolation, fear, anxiety, death, mourning, loss.

We live in an ever increasing culture of contempt - divisive politicians, policies, platforms, theories, media with hate, anger, and confusion.

We function in the environments of intellectual intolerance –slanted perspectives or bias in which some seek to silence others, to shout down the other, listening only with intent to reply unable to use critical thinking or openly allow discussion of elemental concepts and truths.

We are daily exposed to violence – open vandalism, destruction, defacement, assault, murder, and war.

One scientific journal has called attention to society’s growing empathy deficit.  People are losing faith… in government, in each other, in simple humanity.

Losing faith… to become disillusioned, embittered or doubtful; to give up; to lose hope; to stop believing.

If I was to truly be honest, I’d have to admit to noticing that perhaps I’ve been losing faith.  Symptoms may be evident in the form of frustration, the ever-growing noise of my thoughts, cynicism, disconnect, and growing isolation. 

Once again, I must stand still.

There’s a quote that has been brought to my attention …

“If you look at the world you’ll be distressed.  If you look within, you’ll be depressed.  But if you look at Christ, you’ll be at rest”. – Corrie ten Boom

If there was any one person in a moment of time caught in the chaos of violence, hatred, anger, confusion, isolation, fear, death, loss – someone who had every reason to find herself losing faith – it may have been Corrie ten Boom.

And yet she rested in Faith… complete trust and confidence, reliance, dependence, optimism, hope and conviction. 

Perhaps through adjusting where I am looking when the world overwhelms – I can experience less of ‘losing faith’ and more of “keep the faith’. 

Keep the Faith – remain optimistic especially in the face of adversity or challenge.

Keep the faith!  - an exclamation/statement of encouragement or solidarity. 

Keep the faith – to carry on, continue the good work.

Is it just that easy…? ‘Keep the faith’?

We are told that “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1) and “we should walk by faith, not be sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7).  Somehow for me at times it isn’t that easy to just willingly to give up any semblance of control in life that I think I may have.  I’m especially encouraged at this point in recalling "If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you" (Matthew 17:20).  When I feel as if I'm 'losing faith', knowing even the smallest bit I have in keeping is an unmeasurable source of strength and power.

It provides comfort; overcomes stress and anxiety; provides strength; leads to a more fulfilled life and gives purpose.  A Faith witnessed can encourage others and begin a new cycle of the prior list of benefits for others. 

As I ‘keep the faith’ and look beyond circumstance I am reminded that the greatest gift faith brings is salvation – an eternal perspective.  ”But we are not like those who turn their backs on God and seal their fate. We have faith that assures our salvation” (Hebrews 10:39).  For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God (Ephesians 2:8). 

So friend, does this world get you feeling like you're 'losing faith'?  Where are you looking?  You can leave the shadow of 'distressed, depressed' and be "at rest" even if you 'have a little faith'.  I pray that you 'Keep the Faith'.  And "May the God of HOPE fill you with ALL JOY and PEACE as you TRUST in Him, so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit"(Romans 15:13).

Forsaken

 

Forsaken.  Not a word one often uses.  But a word perhaps felt more often than some may want to say.

… he stood out side his wife’s window every day – rain, snow, cold. The pandemic rules would not allow him to be by her side as she lay in bed struggling to breathe.  Weeks went by for her all the while unable to sense his presence, feel his hand on hers, hear his voice; isolated from all that was familiar.

… they were supposed to be healers providing care enabling patients to return home to loved ones.  Instead, they were helpless as hundreds entered the doors.  They looked into the eyes filled with fear and desperation, often holding a phone for one to hear loved one’s voice as intubation occurred. Often standing quietly holding a hand as last breaths were taken so one would not die alone.  And as the virus spread sometimes it was the hand of a fellow worker they held.

…they went to work daily to provide care for those who survived, for those who were older and unable to care for themselves.  Day after day not only experiencing the fatigue the job routinely may bring but now daily witnesses to isolation that drained life, having to cover extra shifts, travel to aid other facilities, exposed to the unknown possibly to be the conduit by which their own homes or loved ones would fall prey to.

… families unable to gather to support one another in loss or honor the one who was no more.

…. Owners of a family business rooted in a community for decades watched helplessly as masked individuals broke windows, lit fires, looted and spraypainted the shell that remained – a life of building, supporting community, a livelihood wiped out by hypocrites in the name of justice.

… he took a breath through the bandana around his face.  Heat and smoke gripped his throat.  90% of all structures in town no longer stood including his home which was lost as he fought to save the homes of others.  Thousands of acres burned.  Ash fell hundreds of miles north and the sky was a sickening brownish orange.

…families quarantined, jobs paused or no longer held, struggling - realizing the rent, utilities, groceries, aren’t balancing.

… a society now filled with a culture of contempt nurturing division, unrest and hatred.

 …she spent days in a basement bunker hiding with her two children before she fled.  “I was ready to die”.  First the airplanes and bombs came every few hours, then every 30 minutes, then every fifteen.  There was the constant smell of gunpowder and images of bodies on the street with nowhere to go.

 

We are living in an uncertain time of upheaval.  We each have uniquely experienced this point history in ways that have overwhelmed.  Fear, unrest, anxiety, isolation, discord, depression, loneliness, doubt, exhaustion, sadness, discouragement, distancing, division, burnout, loneliness, disconnect…   There is no fathomable or measurable way to complete the list. 

Forsaken – abandoned. To have been left, deserted, surrendered, set aside, cast off.

Perhaps this word “forsaken” describes best what is being felt…by the patient; the victim abused or discriminated; the medical worker; the citizen whose political class has forgotten; the widow or widower; the orphan; the refugee; the homeless; the elderly; the single parent; the firefighter; the police officer; the teacher; the child; the neighbor…you….me.

It’s taken awhile to acknowledge that the continued onslaught of events over the past few years has eroded wellbeing… mine, yours, ours.  Sometimes people experience a huge massive loss or life altering event that is a tsunami crashing through life with obvious devastation in its wake.  But we have had an unrelenting, uncontrollable, unforgiving storm pattern that continues to bring floods leaving us constantly wading through mud and trying to keep our heads above water.  Some times we don’t realize the cumulative effect as we ignore various parts of the storm or convince ourselves we are far removed from certain parts of the storm until the water comes rushing through the middle of our lives.  The thing that is unique about this set of storms is that the first round forced us to abandon (forsake) a good portion of our lifeboat communities.  For some that length of time has caused disconnect – some have moved along with smaller more immediate supports unwittingly forsaking others; some no longer are capable of reaching out or flagging down the nearest lifeboat holding on to whatever lifesaver they can now on their own and some still struggle immensely to gasp their next breath of air with the continued onslaught and wave of events.  Maybe each of us at varied times can relate a bit too closely to each of the fore mentioned situations. 

What is needed to continue our journey now  - in spite of continued showers – is to acknowledge this word – “forsaken”.  Identify how we’ve been affected and allow ourselves to openly feel what it may bring.  Then move forward with intent.

Move forward purposefully seeking our lifeboats.  Move forward purposefully noticing those around us that may need the refuge of our lifeboat and make room – reach out so as not to unwittingly forsake another.  Move forward intentionally rebuilding the lifeboat community.  Move forward knowing you it’s okay to call out for help.  Each of these will be effortful, need time, and may result being stuck in another onslaught back with that word “forsaken”.

Truth is we do have an anchor of hope in which we are never truly forsaken.  There is ONE that is sovereign over all that may come.  No matter the event, no matter the situation, no matter how abandoned we may feel  or seem, we will always have  this anchor of assurance in the promises of ONE who is ever present, ever knowing and all powerful.  There is no struggle against the fatigue, the fear, the anxiety, the isolation.  There is just surrender into the arms of the ONE who loves and won’t let go.  And we are promised security, assurance, presence and strength.

 

Deuteronomy 31:6  Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your GOD, He is the One who goes with you.  He will not leave you nor forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:8  And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you.  He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear or be dismayed

Joshua 1:5  No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you.  I will not leave you nor forsake you.

Ezra 9:9  Yet our GOD did not forsake us in our bondage; but He extended mercy to us.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9  We are hard-pressed on every side yet not crushed, we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed.

Matthew 28:20  And lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.

Romans 8:38-39  For I am convinced that neither death no life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present not the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our LORD.

 

AMIDST

 

And here I am. 

Standing Still.

In this moment.

Amidst.   In the middle of … reflection of a year gone by – the year to come.

Amidst.  Surrounded by … memories that hold sorrow and memories that hold joy.

Amidst.  Between… yesterday and tomorrow.

Amidst.  In the thick of… the noise and busyness of my thoughts.

Amidst.  Throughout the course of… days bombarded with societal unrest, division, anger, ‘wokeness’ and chaos.

Amidst.  Enveloped, encircled, and covered… ALWAYS, by the Father’s love, refuge, renewal, comfort and Presence.

In this moment… in every moment, I’m amidst.

 What are you amidst? 

I posed this questions to a group of friends and answers began to pour:

“Pain – the challenge of living with a chronic health issue that makes even the simplest of tasks difficult; having your body rebel against you and learning to let things go (and to do only what brings joy).

Discontent – stagnant, emptiness that makes life feel lost – an illusion – (hoping there is light at the end of the tunnel).”

“Finding myself again after immense change and challenge (wanting to do so before the time to leave this world comes – it’s a big journey, splendid, scary and surprising).”

“Inspiration – excited to be making a piece of art for submission to a gallery!”

“Dealing with the changing roles from being the child to caring for a parent with advanced dementia –(I will make it no matter this storm in this stage of the cycle of life).”

“Aging – frustrated learning limitations (and finding there are things left to learn and enjoy).”

“Sadness – trying to move on from loss and let go of anger, expectations – just waking up each day, breathing and stepping forward”.

“Loneliness – life has become so disconnected with this pandemic.”

“Exhaustion – work never ends; I hate the bad news and all the bad feelings everyone has.”

“Family – the holiday season brings us from all over, we reconnect.”

“Missing someone – holding memories ‘til we meet again.”

“A move!   - overwhelmed having to let go, sort, and start (but anticipating the next chapter).”

“Fullness – having an adult child and family move in.  Adjusting.  Enjoying.”

“Waiting – a lot hangs in the balance here.”

Amidst. 

This moment as I stand still with this word my spirit grasps on to several things –

I am not Amidst alone – each of us lives life Amidst.  Perhaps there is great growth and support to be found in opening our hearts, our experiences and needs; to reach out for strength: to give strength as you stand still with one who’s Amidst.

It is good to mindfully acknowledge what one finds themselves Amidst.  Name it.  Then…

it is good to purposefully seek to find and be amidst… MORE.  A quiet place to stand still amidst the chaos and the begin to breathe, trust and abide in the Great I AM.

 

Father,   

We are thankful for your invitation “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest (Mark 6:31).  As we each find ourselves amidst – chaos, comfort, exhaustion, loss, support, change, comfort, anxiety, kindness, perseverance, tears, laughter – whatever it may be, assure us.  Assure us whatever else we may be amidst, we are always and forever amidst Your presence, Your love, Your strength, Your JOY.  Assure us in a tangible way directly or through one You may send. 

 

Romans 8: 37-39   -In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

Matthew 28:20   And surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

 

Isaiah 40:29  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

 

! Peter 5:7  Cast all you cares on Him, because He cares for you.

 

Ecclesiastes 3:11  He has made everything beautiful in its own time.  He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from the beginning to the end.

 

Lamentation 3: 22-23  The LORD’s compassions never fail; His mercies are new each day. 

 

 Isaiah 43:19  Behold, I am about to do something new; even now It is coming.  Do you not see it?  Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert.