January 3, 2021

Pt. 2 Continuing "in the midst"

 


“We will always be ‘in the midst’.”

This thought has been stuck in my mind.   Just a simple verbalization of a base idea or concept yet it’s causing good depth of thought, quite a few realizations.

I had written ‘in the midst’ considering all 2020 had brought.  During the past year I have come face to face with ‘in the midst’ of the devastation, loss, isolation, long term health diagnosis, stress, anxiety, hopelessness, futility, frustration, anger and injustice.  I isolated because I didn’t want to risk contributing to pandemic by exposing others (front line SLP in SNF providing therapy for a caseload that included Covid and post-Covid).  In isolation I experienced times of being overwhelmed with emotion after being witness to patient isolation and desperation.  I experienced being the only hand they’d held in weeks; was the only voice singing happy birthday or a carol, held the phone for them so they could hear the voice of a loved one from whom they’ve been separated for months; and dabbed their tears away as I silently prayed for this child of God.  Physically I have experienced the exhaustion of longer days; donning and doffing over every threshold; covering caseloads in multiple buildings and having to decontaminate and totally change clothing between buildings; testing weekly to try and screen all the while knowing I had loved ones that I could possibly infect if not vigilant.  Once through the day, emotional tolls hit the family as well -I often do not anything left physically or emotionally to interact, participate, or even feel.  

As I kept considering living ‘in the midst’, I realized I’ve been in a place of ‘in the midst’ of life’s shadows quite often.  While most people get to middle age and start looking forward to a different easier pace of life, I decided to take a few educational classes which unexpectedly led to finding myself ‘in the midst’ of major life change which included working toward and earning a Master’s in one of the most competitive intensive coursework programs to obtain a degree.  The last time I had been in college we were still using notebooks, paper, typewriters … there was a crazy learning curve just to function within the program.  And ‘in the midst’ of this period of time I was diagnosed with chronic health issues (ultimately contributing to a 5 hour surgery several years later and continues to be challenging).  ‘In the midst’ of struggling my mom passed away.  Funny how even as a middle-aged adult your mother is an integral part of life.  She was my encourager, friend, sounding board, prayer warrior, mentor – I miss her prayers – I miss the sound of her voice.  ‘In the midst’ of this all I was learning that the most unexpected, unprepared and oddly difficult part of a parent’s journey is the transition of parenting once your children reach young adulthood.  And personally, our lives will forever be lived ‘in the midst’ of having experienced the loss of our daughter – an occurrence that is now such a foundational part of who we are as individuals and a family and how we live our lives.  Bittersweet.

I know each of you have lived ‘in the midst’ of the shadow of life events – maybe you are standing in that shadow right now… broken relationship, financial strife, health challenge, loss of a loved one, family concerns, crisis of faith, change, uncertainty.

All my musing and thought comes down to the conclusion that this journey of life is lived completely ‘in the midst’ – ‘in the midst’.   

Personal realization – I’ve been living ‘in the midst’ of life’s challenges, losses, events, changes and uncertainties yet finding moments and times to seek and experience calm, peace, laughter, joy and hope.

Personal paradigm shift – What if… what if my life is lived continually or for the most part ‘in the midst’ of PEACE? lived continually ‘in the midst’ of HOPE? lived continually ‘in the midst’ of JOY?  - not overshadowed by all the other chaos…    

Challenge accepted and paradigm shifted!  How is this possible?  It isn’t if I’m trying to do it on my own.  It is if I realize I CAN because of GRACE ‘in the midst”. 

It is my prayer for you to know GRACE ‘in the midst’ that will allow you to live life ‘in the midst’ of JOY, PEACE and HOPE.

Phil 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Romans 15:13 - “May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.   Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

                                                                                                           

Nehemiah 8:10 “This is a sacred day before our LORD.  Don’t be dejected and sad, for the JOY of the LORD is your strength!”  

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