Here I
am, sitting in the darkened room by the lights of the tree on this Christmas
Eve. It causes me to think and now leads
me to admit to you that my heart has spent the last bit of time not in the
reflective light of the tree and the Christmas spirit, but rather in the
darkness of my own spirit.
Responsibilities, deadlines, events needing planning, guests coming from
out of town, a big push to finish strongly for the term, concerns already for
next term, the cost of three of us pursuing higher education in one family,
relational issues with one - often a struggle with peace, rebellion, serious
health issues for loved ones, learning to live with my own health developments,
meeting familial needs, holding on to friendships with perhaps less attention
than they deserve, guilt, sadness, loss, frustration, fatigue, work, the feeling
of being overwhelmed... I often feel
that I am keeping the nights watch - waiting to inform all that the doom I have
been feeling approach is now here... "2a.m. and all is on the verge of losing
it", "3a.m and all is dark and doomed", "4 a.m. and no
longer on the verge of losing it... Honey... I've done lost it all!!!". Wandering in the dark... no clue how to even
begin to make things work.
Looking
at the tree lights I hear the words: The
Light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not overcome it (John
1:5). I am reminded of those small
candle lights at tonight's Christmas Eve service. The Savior comes willingly to a dark place in order to bring light.
Isaiah 9:20 states that "on those living in the land of the shadow of death, a light has dawned."
Christmas
Eve... we are beautifully reminded that tonight, darkness falls into the dawn
of love's light. I Stand Still with
that... the dawn of love's light. God's
love and sacrifice that first Christmas Eve caused the darkness of a world
filled with war, strife, taxes, political and religious unrest, social
inequality, persecution and.... hmmm... sounds like a time we may be familiar
with -
to fall and give way to the dawn of love's light. In a manger, in the darkness we find love's
light that will never be overcome by the darkness we each hide inside -
anxiety, frustration, anger, fear, uncertainty, doubt, overwhelmingness,
fatigue, lostness, emptiness, unhappiness, discontent.
Not only do we have the promise of
the light shining through those darknesses, we are promised the light will bring
life - "In Him was life, and that life became the light of men" (John
1:4). Light brings hope, joy, love and
peace to the darkness. We are promised
these things.
As I
walk through the valleys with shadows and darkness - I am reminded tonight that
this darkness will bring a dawn filled with love's light.
My prayer for you is that your dawn this morning was filled
with light. Some of us find that in
family, some in friends, some in those things received.... But to fell darkness permanently and
completely love's light must rise. Love's
light comes from the Father for GOD is LOVE (1 John 4). True love come through the sacrifice given on
Calvary's Hill to free us from what we truly deserve. Love's light frees us from earthly darkness
and blesses us with abundance - Life to the Full - despite circumstance which
is often beyond understanding.
May you
live in the dawn of love's light each day you are given - stepping out of the
darkness of our world and our making, and embrace a peace that surpasses
understanding.
I pray
that darkness fell into the dawn of love's light for you this Christmas morn
and you can proclaim with me... All is well,
All is well.
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