Thoughtlessness

I honestly am okay with criticism – even when it comes from a place that is not constructive.  So often it is far more telling about the source rather than its intended target and often no matter the intention there is something to be gained.

I can deal with those who are snide, derogatory or malicious – for in reality such are those who suffer deeper insecurities, lack of intellect, ignorance or are products of hostility themselves.

But thoughtlessness…

Thoughtlessness is something far more damaging.  Some may chalk it up to simply being ignorant or unaware; perhaps careless – this at times can be true.  However, when someone consistently demonstrates thoughtlessness it comes from a place of pure vanity…simple out and out narcissism.  It reveals disregard, disingenuousness, disrespect and even disdain.

The thoughtless acts demonstrate that person’s main motivation is self …. Self-benefit, self-gratification, self-glorification, self-promotion.  The mere fact that the person doesn’t realize the thoughtlessness shows his vanity. 

The sad thing is that thoughtlessness happens at the cost of others.

As I stand still being thoughtful about thoughtlessness – at the moment weighing on my heart brought by a series of incidents recently, part of a repetitive hurtful pattern – I ponder what others have said about thoughtless acts.

Poet Edgar A Guest writes that “it blurs the eyes that ought to smile with many needless tears” and “the hurt it leaves behind them takes years to wipe away”.

Poet Ella Wheeler Wilcox considers that people flatter those they scarcely know and please the fleeting guest while dealing many a thoughtless blow to those who love them best.

Winston Churchill commented that the process of building is a slow laborious task of years but the thoughtless act of a single day destroys.

I struggle in my human-ness with how to react toward the source of such consistent acts.  Traveling the high road while being hurt and especially seeing those I love hurt gets extremely hard at times.  My own disdain builds and I do not like the person that bubbles up with hurt and spite.

I turn to the One who has the answer.

Romans 12 reminds me (9)Love must be sincere.   Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. (10)Be devoted to one another in love.  Honor one another above yourselves….(13)Share with the Lord’s people who are in need…(14)Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse….(16)Live in harmony with one another…(18)If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone…(21)Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

So there it is – that hurtful, narcissistic, disdainful, disingenuous human is a broken flawed child of God.  Though wounded – I need to view this person through the Father’s eyes …

And kill him with kindness.

Father,

I turn each of them over to your hands.  I will look to You and surrender my spiteful thoughts.  Forgive me.  I ask for peace, comfort in hurt, guidance for actions and words of my own.  AMEN