For those alone or lonely

A conversation from the past replayed as I was lying in bed.  Someone I knew had commented that she had been so alone and lonely.  This floored me.  She had a husband who was a man of God; three loving girls for which she was very active in a multitude of activities supporting their interest and talents; attended and was involved in her church; part of a women’s group and involved in more than what even I was aware of.  Yet, she felt alone and lonely; having many acquaintances but no close friends. No phone calls to chat or check in – unless she initiated it; no emails with encouraging messages or sharing funny stories; no invites when couples went out or families got together – unless there was a need “could you watch my daughter,” “can you bake a dish,” “could you drive?”

I couldn’t believe that someone I admired so much felt so alone.

“We all get trapped in the business of life” I suggested.

“If some one values you – time is given and even enjoyed” she said through a sigh. “I’ve asked people to coffee or lunch or shopping – often met with “busy” and then heard stories of the deal at the restaurant or the funky shirt that was seen as they shopped.”

She told me ‘I decided I needed to step back and let what I thought were friends go.  I’d hoped that maybe they’d show me …” (she lowered her head).

We got together a few times before she moved for coffee, prayer, discussion.  The last time we spoke she told me she was okay.  Her conclusion – “I can be alone and not lonely because my best friend is Christ and He will not leave me where I am”.

I pass through the empty valley she was in – sometimes again and again - with the companions of ‘alone and lonely’. It is then I remember her words and SMILE.  I might feel lonely but I am never alone. I have also learned that my best friend Christ will not forsake —I will not be left, deserted, or abandoned in the darkness; Christ is my Light.

Is. 42:16 - “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.”

Vertigo of life

I suffer a few health issues that at times tend to make life run a little less smoothly.   Vertigo tends to challenge me periodically.  It’s a dizzying sensation in which I lose equilibrium.  Sometimes accompanied by light-headedness, vertigo causes me to go through my day with unsteadiness.  Perception is tilted and there is a feeling of wavering motion as I am trying to move forward or even just be.  On those days, all I want is to have balance restored.

I realize that this is actually a physical manifestation of how so many of us exist in daily life emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  Many of us find ourselves juggling so much – schedules, commitments, concerns, quests for perfection, quests for success – that we seem to be endlessly searching for some kind of balance in life.  And finding balance in our lives is important for studies have proven that a balanced life improves mental and physical health.

So the questions become – How do I find balance?  How can I live life feeling balanced?

There is plenty of advice on how to have a balanced life:  get organized; create daily routines; establish a good support network; be flexible; simplify your life; track your time; leave work at work; nurture yourself; learn to say no; rethink your errands; drop activities or even people that sap time and energy; establish and focus on your priorities; take down time; exercise; relax.

While all of these pieces of advice may hold benefit, I have learned from experience – both in my physical struggle and in life – that the ONLY way to overcome loss of equilibrium is to focus beyond…    The answer/cure/solution will never come from inside yourself or a source that exist within this earthly realm. 

Peace… balance…  contentment…  answers… come from beyond and above; from a God who knows, cares, and loves.

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” Isaiah 26:3
“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

“For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…I can do all this through him who fives me strength.” Philippians 4:11-13

"Who do you say I am?"

A recent devotion focused on Matthew 16:15 and Christ's question, "Who do you say I am?"
As I was Standing Still with this question I became amazed by how personal the answer to this question is at any one given moment in my life.
When I am walking through the dark times - He is the "Light of the world" (John 8:12).
When I am on shaky ground - He is the cornerstone (Luke 20:17)
If I am searching for a direction or answers - He is my wonderful counselor: the truth and the way (Isaiah 9:6 and John 14:6)
When I am feeling distant, weak or unsure in faith - He is the "author and perfecter" (Hebrews 12:2)
When my spirit is in turmoil - He is the Prince of Peace (John 14:27)
When I hunger - He is the "bread of Life" (John 6:35).
When I am feeling inadequacy, convicted and know I fall short in my sinfulness - He is the Lamb of God; my Redeemer and Savior.

Considering once again the question "who do you say I am?" my mind and my heart ponder perhaps a different perspective - "who does He say I am?"
I am both humbled and filled with joy as His Word provides answers:
1 Peter 2:9 reminds me that I am His Chosen - "called out of darkness into his wonderful light".
Galatians 3:26 tells me that in Christ I am a "child of God."
Romans 8:17 says that I am an "heir of God and co-heir with Christ".
He knows me so intimately that He knows the number of hairs on my head (Matthew 10:30) and my name is written in His hand (Isaiah 49:16).
I am so loved that "He gave His only Son" (John 3:16).

I am so very thankful for a Heavenly Father who holds all the answers to questions I have at any moment of my life.  It is my prayer to know - that each of you may know - fully His love, His mercy, His faithfulness, and His abundant grace.


John 6:35  I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.
John 8:12  When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
John 14:6  Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me."
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Hebrews 12:2  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith; who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

wait

A phrase in a worship song recently caught my attention – "Wait upon the Lord."  Waiting upon the Lord is often isn’t easy. 

I stood still with the word “wait”.  I discovered wait doesn’t just mean to pause, to linger or remain inactive – it also means to look forward to eagerly. So as we struggle to wait upon the Lord with hearts pondering questions such as “Where do I go from here?” “What is God calling me to do?” “What is God’s will for me in this situation?”and  “How long – Oh Lord?”  We can rest assured and eagerly look forward to His answer knowing He will provide clarity in line with His good and perfect will.  Psalms 27:14  tells us  “Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.”

 As we quiet our hearts, and stand still – we hear His voice.  When we seek the Lord and yield our will to His, clarity happens. Proverbs 3 states "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight". 

Life may seem to be filled with cross roads, forks in the road and detours – But we have this promise of straight paths – clarity.

And so I will WAIT - I will LOOK FORWARD TO EAGERLY.

It is a case of scratched vinyl?

   Do you remember what it was like to listen to music played from a record?  Each of us had our favorite records – those black vinyl circular things before digital music on ipods, or laser read cd’s, or heads that passed over the tape in a cassette (we won’t even mention an 8-track). We’d place the record on the stereo table and the needle would follow the subtle track of the grooves and the music would play.  Some were played till it seemed the grooves wore out.
But the most dreaded event was the scratch.  And at some point there always came “the scratch” on one of the favored records. 
As your favorite music played, the needle following the track hit the scratch.  The music was never the same.  Sometimes it would continue to play but you would hear the click of the bump of the scratch made again...again….again…until the music got past the area affected by the scratch.  The worst scratches brought the needle hitting the scratch and being stuck in the same groove causing that particular ridge of music to play again… and causing that particular ridge of music to play again… and causing that particular ridge of music to play again…UNTIL the needle was bumped over to continue on an unaffected piece of music.

I recently read a book that quoted Katherine Walden – “Unforgiveness is like a scratch on an old record; the song never goes on to the end.  It keeps the beautiful music yet to be released unheard and all that resounds are the same old three or four chords again, and again, and again.”

 I’ve been witness to this scratch of unforgiveness too many times:

A beautiful family song is playing.  The daughter chose to leave her husband and two children and follow another man. The song never goes on to it’s beautiful melody of lives shared moments, growth, celebrations, grandkids, anniversaries, stable foundations that build lifetimes of God’s intended experiences of love shared
Another family’s song plays. A son off to college and meets others who point out faults here (skip) and there (skip) in his family relationship.  Nothing really meets expectations of either side.  Words are said. Hurt is formed.  Efforts go unmade or unrecognized.  Intentions are misinterpreted.  The song ends abruptly – the beautiful music of relationships experiencing life’s joys and sorrow together with love, support, encouragement, traditions….will never be played.

I’ve experienced this scratch of unforgiveness;
A song of Hope began with curly brown hair and quiet smiles.  A certain doctor refused an appointment.  Illness later was quickly recognized. Realization hit hard when it was time to let go…that song ended.
There was the silence of grief, frustration, anger, anxiety, hate, disbelief (so much more) that grew into nothing but noise – not the song that had begun.  One day the noise had grown too loud – I knew I had to stop the noise of the scratch of being angry and anxious and lift the needle off the scratched song. I had to forgive; forgive the doctor and his refusal; forgive the people who told us if we had enough faith…; forgive those who not knowing what to say stayed away; forgive those who stayed but said such wrongness; forgive myself...

Ephesians says, ‘but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God’.  Not a verse you would think to give to a frustrated, angry, hateful, anxious, mourning woman. I took the verse knowing I needed to give and experience forgiveness and prayed -  BUT pray with thanksgiving?!?  The noise slowly dissipated as I prayed for help in forgiving, as I prayed to forgive and I prayed with thanksgiving for the doctor, the people, myself, the blessings of time given……….Then I heard a melody begin, and grow, and heard the beauty and have felt the peace that transcends understanding coming with the song.  I now have blessings that I otherwise never would’ve dreamed of with the new song…because I forgave.
Please pray for those whose songs have the scratch of unforgiveness.   Encourage them…Find encouragement in scripture yourself to stop the scratch from not allowing the music waiting to be played. Be the one to pray with a repent heart and true thanksgiving and then listen to and experience the beautiful song God has intended.

Matthew 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Luke 7:48
Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
Matthew 18:^21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times